Being Optimistic, Again – Schools reopening, Summer Holidays Not Happening, COVID workplaces and Patrick Lohlein from EFTA4UK on other post-Brexit options

Released on Tuesday, February 16th, 2021.

Being Optimistic, Again – Schools reopening, Summer Holidays Not Happening, COVID workplaces and Patrick Lohlein from EFTA4UK on other post-Brexit options

We’ve got to be optimistic, just like all the other times we had to be optimistic before things got worse. This time though, we have to be optimistic but patient which means being optimistic for long enough for the worse things to stop, time to dramatically move on and then things to get better. Circa probably around 2056. Schools reopening, summer holidays not happening and COVID in the workplace. Plus a chat with Patrick Lohlein (@PatrickLohlein) at EFTA4UK (@EFTA4UK) about other post-Brexit possibilities.




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Further Reading

Linear liner notes 

We’ve got to be optimistic, just like all the other times we had to be optimistic before things got worse. This time though, we have to be optimistic but patient which means being optimistic for long enough for the worse things to stop, time to dramatically move on and then things to get better. Circa probably around 2056. Schools reopening, summer holidays not happening and COVID in the workplace. Plus a chat with Patrick Lohlein (@PatrickLohlein) at EFTA4UK (@EFTA4UK) about other post-Brexit possibilities.

Key links and sources of info from Patrick’s interview:

All the usual ParPolBro stuff:




Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast, the comedy politics podcast that you could learn to live with, like you do flu. Especially as it makes you feel similarly as awful for several days after getting it. I’m Tiernan Douieb and this week as the Prime Minister and Lion’s Mane Fungus growing on a dismembered toe Boris Johnson says that we must be optimistic but patient, I’m thinking but I thought you wanted less people in hospitals doofus, duh.


It is comforting to know that as a nation who often fears change – and I don’t just mean because most shops won’t accept cash anymore – that the British government are doing all they can to ensure we don’t have to experience that sort of dramatic life turbulence again. We’re all settled into this lockdown lark now, so the thought of what it’ll be like when you have to make conversations with people or getting dressed again, can be all a bit worrying and nerve wracking. Which is why we need to be very thankful that just as the R rate is falling and normal life becomes a terrifying possibility, Boris Johnson has announced that schools will reopen on March 8th. Oh, but there’s not going to be a cautious phased return is there? No, no don’t worry. It’s reported to be all schools, all at once as that way all children will have an equal chance of passing the virus onto relatives, regardless of their economic circumstances. Wait, there won’t be a serious of safety measures to make everyone feel reassured that this is the right thing to do will there? Oh god no, nothing like that and in fact ministers are being very guarded about revealing any details of how it will work so as to keep it a fun surprise for headteachers, because hey, who doesn’t love surprises? Then once all the kids are back coughing on each other and staff, the government will be looking into how you can cough on a friend outside, or while playing tennis, or maybe in a pub but not while having booze as that might mean you get a small iota of escapism and anxiety relief while coughing all over your always disappointing Wetherspoons breakfast. The full details won’t be released till next week, when Johnson reveals his roadmap to normality, which I am concerned will just be details of how to drive down the A1(M) to Barnard Castle.


The Prime Minister says he is optimistic about his plans to ease England’s lockdown, in the same way he was optimistic last March that Coronavirus would all be over in 12 weeks or in May that pubs and restaurants could open sooner than he originally thought, or about shops reopening last June, or about Operation Moonshot or…look I’m just saying that sometimes the word optimism is used for Johnson’s mindset instead of blissful ignorance or how every time he starts getting a wobble on that things might not be ok, as long as his team stick on a playlist of his favourite nursery rhymes and give him a chocolate milk, it’s all smiles again. This time it is a cautious optimism though and Johnson even u-turned sooner than normal in Monday’s press conference by saying that actually he couldn’t say for sure this will be the last lockdown as we are battling with nature, an image that his hair depicts every time we see him. We must keep our foot to the floor, he said, which would certainly make people stay at home as it’s quite hard to put your shoes on without lifting up your legs.


Has he finally learned his lesson that COVID won’t just nod and smile at him like everyone else does? Only last week he was saying COVID is a challenge that they are meeting, so maybe he meant for informal lunch lobbying sessions and discovered the virus isn’t willing to donate to the Conservative Party so he’s stop wanting to give it benefits.


To be fair there are some valid reasons for the PM’s sort of PMA. The COVID vaccine rollout has now entered its next phase. Previously it was set to kill, but now it’s only on heavy stun. Or possibly disrupt. More than 15 million people in the UK have had their first injection and everyone in the top four groups have had the offer of a jab and that is really actually good news because honestly, who of us thought the government would manage it?

And you can be cynical all you like but it also looks like the next most vulnerable groups will definitely get their jabs by April, especially as it’s been decided that actually not as many people are as at risk if you pretend that they aren’t, and so can be put in even lower groups. Like asthmatics for example. I mean why prioritise them in group 6 when they already having breathing issues so something like COVID will just be more of the same right?


Health Secretary and Japanese Uba Noh Mask Matt Hancock said that in terms of easing restrictions, there is still some way to go. One way you could go though, is to the UK, because it seems that even if you’re arriving from one of the 33 red list countries that require you get banged up in a quarantine hotel, you can mix with other passengers on the plane or in the airport first. Which brings a whole new meaning to the term duty free. There are a lot of questions about quite how this hotel quarantine works, not least starting with why countries like the US aren’t on the travel ban list despite people handing out ‘rona there faster than opioids. Immigration officials have still had no guidance on what checks they should carry out on travellers, but that’s just whiny isn’t it? I mean even I know that you just say, ‘fill in the address of where you’ll be staying’ and if they put ‘le Hotel Quarantine’ or ‘in a room with a big red cross daubed on it’ then hand over their credit card, you’ll know where to send them. You will need a credit card too as it’ll cost £1750 for ten night’s stay, but the hotels themselves are only going to get 40-50% of that as a large chunk of the rest is handed over to the ever-reliable G4S for security. Maybe the British tourist board are advertising trips to the UK as some sort of pay for a prisoner of war experience? With the right money, you too can be bundled into a van by security that have no understanding of safety before being trapped in an unknown location surrounded by virulent prison mates. Or maybe the government are relying on G4S to do their classic trick of not actually turning up in the first place, and so as only affluent types can afford that kind of cost anyway, they’re just paying to do what they like in Britain for two weeks?


There is a 10-year jail sentence for anyone who tries to conceal journeying from a high-risk country, even if you shout ‘yeah but Botswana is nowhere near as riddled as this plague hole’ as you get through customs. 10 years is the same sentence you’d get for threats to kill, non-fatal poisoning or indecent assault. Imagine being in prison and your inmate says, ‘yeah I broke a bottle in half and said I’d gut the fucker that blocked my trolley in at Sainsburys, what about you?’ ‘Oh er, I just didn’t fancy staying in a Travelodge for a bit when coming back from a luxury holiday in Rio.’ Is it just that the government, as we’ve long assumed, thinks simply wanting to come to the UK from mostly non-white countries is a worse offence than armed robbery? Or do they actually think that passing on the virus is equal to a death threat and if so, are we expecting Boris Johnson to go down for at least 1 million years? Because I’m definitely clapping on my doorstep every week for that. Transport Secretary and lost child no one wants to collect at the theme park Grant Shapps, backed the terms saying there should be tough sentencing for people who deliberately lie and mislead, and so says Michael Green.


Of-course some people are less worried about people coming over ‘ere, than being able to get away over there because there’s nothing like a global pandemic to make you think ‘you know what? I’d really like to catch this virus somewhere more exotic.’ Don’t you be thinking about booking a holiday aboard or at home for the summer yet though as Shapps says, we don’t know where we’ll be. Well unless you’re Matt Hancock that is, who knows he’ll be in Cornwall as that’s where he’s booked his family holiday already. Extra disappointing news for Cornish people who now can’t even go anywhere to escape having to see the Health Secretary. It doesn’t matter where you go though, it’s likely the Kent Variant will be there to greet you, as top microbiologists have said it is set to sweep the world and has already been found in over 50 countries. Finally! I’ve always thought Kent deserved global recognition for its transmittable germs. Isn’t it nice to know that even with post-Brexit issues, Britain is able to export something effectively? Hancock is, of course, optimistic if that’s what it is and reckons we could learn to live with coronavirus, like we do flu. Though a better comparison might be like how we live with this government. Lots of people have a terrible time and many die prematurely, but we’ll all keep pretending it was their own fault anyway and carry on demanding the pubs open.


Which is of course one of the immediate demands of the Covid Recovery Group, a hoard of backbenchers who are demanding everything reopen in April because it doesn’t matter how many people die when they’ve got nowhere to drink and shout at people they don’t know about why British colonialism needs to come back because people speaking other languages in their own countries has got out of hand. Pompous kitchen brush Steve Baker said that he wants the Prime Minister to let us reclaim our lives, once and for all, which is brash from someone like him who has never appeared to have much of one in the first place and will no doubt spend all his time once lockdown is over, complaining that now everyone has too much freedom. The group say they want a commitment to a ‘free life’ which is their way of saying they’re going to claim even more on expenses, so they don’t have to pay for it. I should be fair and point out that they have said they only want all restrictions to be lifted once all the over 50s have had their jab, because that way they’ll all be immune and it’ll solve the youth unemployment crisis by killing that generation off.


We need to hear these concerns though as while there isn’t a virologist or expert who understands how viruses work among them, by broadcasting the complaints of the CRG it helps us all feel lucky that at least we’re not stuck in lockdown with one of those petulant whiny bastards which does make it easier. Is it that these conditions have made the most privileged seem even more callous about people’s lives or just that we’re hearing them more as sadly there’s not much other news? Because in the same week the CRG are all miffed that the virus has stopped them rubbing up against people on a crowded train in the morning, the Institute of Economic Affairs released a report that the NHS has been nothing special during the pandemic and that there’s no reason to be grateful for them. I am pleased. I was so supportive of our health service that’s been underfunded for over a decade, but now a think tank that won’t reveal their funding and lobbied for a hard Brexit has said that the NHS aren’t great, I’ve totally changed my mind. It sounds like the sort of comment they may have jealously spat out after someone asked, ‘well what have you ever done for anyone?’, followed by them posting on Reddit about how maybe having friends is nice but they don’t need them and how Lucy doesn’t deserve them anyway so they’re perfectly happy sulking in their room.


In Brexit fun times, cabinet minister and talking tree burl Michael Gove has said the recent trading difficulties have been like turbulence when a plane takes off and that eventually we’ll reach cruising speed and enjoy a gin and some peanuts. An interesting analogy to use for exports and imports, during a time when you’re not allowed to travel outside of the country and there’s a massive charge for anything coming here. Is it just turbulence now, or has the plane been grounded due to the company going bust? Foreign Secretary and doesn’t the Red Skull look unwell Dominic Raab said that we need to embrace a 10 year view of Brexit, because of course by then he won’t be around to answer any difficult questions about why things are still shit. One solution to unblock trade is for an undersea

tunnel between Britain and Northern Ireland, because I’m certain there are meetings where

Johnson sits around doodling as everyone discusses complex trade arrangements and he stands up with his crayon drawing of his Jules Verne dreamscape and shouts ‘we will fix it with a magical underwater tunnel and the merpeople will help us build it!’ before being ushered out of the room with the promise of a carton of juice. It is nice to have a change from incoherent ramblings about a bridge, and instead some nonsense about a tunnel that won’t actually help unblock trade unless the plan is for all lorries that go through it to be covered in night-time camouflage with lights off like it’s a scene from the Great Escape. At least with a tunnel there’s some acceptance that all of this is just a pipedream. Prominent Brexiteer and star of The Mummy Baroness Kate Hoey has been getting very upset about the issues with goods from Britain crossing the Irish Sea, claiming that no one is speaking up for Northern Ireland. It might’ve helped if you didn’t campaign to tape their mouths shut and kick them into the cellar Kate. I wish I could experience the disconnect of politicians like her, where one minute you could be driving a car into a pedestrian zone and the next blaming people for not being car proof.


Or you know how Mr Mean from the Mr Men Rishi Sunak can excitedly tweet about his first year on the job by saying that growing up he never thought he’d be Chancellor as he wanted to be a jedi. It is quite something to watch those films and think that actually Darth Vader made all the right moves. He can’t even bring balance to the economy, let alone the force. I’m very worried that the budget will be mostly money for an orbital battle station and still fuck all the Excluded 3 million because he can’t save everyone. Home Secretary and talking laceration Priti Patel called the Black Lives Matter protest ‘dreadful’ and criticised taking a knee. It’s not surprising she’s against any sort of call for rights as she seems to only believe black people do wrongs. But it is funny that last year she condemned violent protests and now, when absolutely no one asked, she’s against peaceful ones too. So, is she against all protests or are we to do mildly pushy ones where we all cheer a bit and then give someone a light shove but apologise after? Patel has also pledged to bring in harsher measures for pet theft, which she has to do, or she’ll have even less response to her dog whistles.


Across the big water, former US President and cross between a mini Babybell and a stomach ulcer Donald Trump was found not guilty of inciting a violent riot at the capital after Republicans found that when presented with an option to express even the vaguest minutia of human decency, they couldn’t give up on tradition. The trial showed how 140 police officers were injured during the incident in January, but they didn’t say how many of them were only hurt while joining in. Trump’s lawyers at one point defended him by saying that actually, the rioters were all Antifa and not at all influenced by all the times Trump called for violence. Well, that’s going to be a real shock to all the Proud Boys that took part and I look forward to them trying to work out how hard they should punch themselves in the face to stop the leftists. This means Trump can run for office again in 2024, and he released a statement saying that his political movement was just beginning so it’s nice to have an admittance at least that the last four years were just a career in playing golf and inciting violence.


Lastly, there is going to be an indefinite delay into the Forde inquiry, which was commissioned to look into the leaked report of the Labour party’s complaints process and included racist conversations between party officials. Nine black Labour MPs have said they are seriously concerned by the delay and how seriously racism is dealt with within the party. Thing is though, I’m sure leader and ventilation shaft Keir Starmer is just thinking about how best to win back voters in the party heartlands. And the Information Commisioner’s Office is looking into why a government credit card was used to buy over £6000 at Hotel Chocolat. I’m certain it was human albatross Chris Grayling after being sent out to collect some important treaties.





Holla at you ParPolBrods. How are you all coping this week what with the vague glimpse of warmth and of course, pancake day, which I’m a huge fan of. They say you are what you eat so I’m going to have tons of pancakes in the hope I’ll get a flat stomach. I worry that I have already had too many of those stacked fluffy ones though. Oh well. We have got a new French bakery near us that has just opened, and I saw it getting built, knowing it wouldn’t arrive till after Brexit and thinking ‘wow, that is what optimism is’. So, we ventured there last week because new things are even more exciting now than they were pre-pandemic. I mean I spent a good 30 minutes with my agent, sorry daughter, staring out of the window at two men breaking some concrete pavement slabs and replacing it with tarmac last week like it was some gripping new drama. Thanks ‘rona. Thanks for putting ‘Men break slabs’ in the same league as the Sopranos. Jesus fucking Christ. Anyway, this French place does what I think are the best chocolate brioche I’ve ever had in my life and so now this podcast is entirely fuelled by those. I’ve decided that the only way to cope with stand-up not likely to return till next year is just to eat those brioches as often as I can afford to, and I think that might work. I’m still running lots too, and I’ve worked out a 50-minute run is equal to about two chocolate brioches, so if I’m clever and keep running and keep eating brioche, I’ll leave lockdown looking exactly the same as I went in. Have you gone bonkers yet too? Sigh, I’ve definitely gone bonkers now. I keep talking to other stand-ups about how I’m even starting to miss burnt, watered down service station coffee. Or complaining about how there are roadworks on my only route home after a gig. Or turning up and seeing the entire audience are stag dos dressed up as different inflatable genitals. Sigh.


There is of course still this show and I hope it isn’t feeling like you’re listening to a repeat lately as the government keep making exactly the same decisions that lead us here in the first place. I do keep thinking at some point I’ll have a week off and just take an old episode and chop it up so it sounds like a new one. I couldn’t do that to you lot! No way. You deserve better than that, but for some reason you still listen to this podcast anyway. ARF! I am glad you’re here and thanks to James and Joe for donating to the Ko-Fi this week and if you want to help keep me in brioche supply, then you can do that at, or the Acast supporter button. Or you know just review the show or tell someone about it or maybe just do something unexpectedly nice for someone like compliment the hair on their upper lip or the particular way they say potato.


Very little to inform you about this week apart from my brioche habit. One thing though is I don’t know how many of you listen on Stitcher, but if you do, how do you? As it seems the podcast overlords at Acast decided to stop sending the RSS feed to Stitcher about 7 months ago and didn’t tell me. So sorry if that’s where you used to listen and now don’t anymore, I had no idea and I am trying to get it all fixed this week. I’m going to pretend its to do with cancel culture or something just so I can get lots of TV interviews about it. If there is a podcast platform that you like and this show isn’t on there, please let me know and I will endeavour to get it there even if it means I have to hand deliver it in a nice box with a brioche attached. Oh, and as mentioned last week, I’m now one of the new storytellers on the children’s podcast Super Great Kids Stories and my first one was released on that last Friday if you have children aka people but small aka house goblins who like that sort of thing.


Oh and lastly, happy birthday to Kat Day who helps every week with this podcast by typing up the liner notes for each show with every link that each guest mentions, so I can pop them all up on the website. Kat is a science writer and story writer, podcaster and much more and if you don’t already follow her on Twitter @chronicleflask and check out the PseudoPod, a horror fiction podcast that she edits.


Ok, on this week’s show I am interviewing a conservative. No wait come back. I promise I haven’t gone like all of the medias because if that was true, I wouldn’t have to plug my ko-fi on account of all the sweet, sweet government contracts I have for supplying audio that can’t be heard or something! So, I know you might be concerned but trust me, it’s about Brexit trade alternatives which is something that is needed right now, and this week’s guest Patrick Lohlein is a former trade consultant and runs a campaign that could be one of a number of viable solutions to the current mess. Plus, a little bit about COVID in the workplace, unless you work from home obviously. Well unless you work from home but have COVID.




Depending on where you fall on the Brexit debate, the fact is, it’s clear that the United Kingdom and everyone in it has definitely fallen, slowly sideways over 4 long years and now we’ve been officially post-Brexited for over a month, we’re all on our backs unable to get up and looking like we might just curl up and die. Businesses are escaping to the continent in order to survive, we’re not exporting anything to Europe except the Kent variant which I think they wish they could put barriers against, Amsterdam has beaten London as top share trading centre, and Northern Ireland might run out of food because we have the sort of government who thinks the Irish famine is a proud bit of our history. The European Commission’s forecast suggests that thanks to the terms agreed by Boris Johnson even though he didn’t read them, the UK will be hit over the next two years by an economic blow four times more brutal than the EU, but hey at least they’ll be sovereign losses right? While Michael Gove might insist this is all just teething problems, it’s really looking like something needs to change in our trading arrangements with Europe to make sure the country doesn’t become one of those retreats rich people head to escape the stresses of modern life. Or phone reception. Or eating. But what can be done? The government are still very keen to make it seem like everything is the EU’s fault so it’s their own doing that we don’t want to play with them anymore, in the same way it’s still the last Labour government’s fault that ten years of consecutive Conservative ones couldn’t fix the economy, or it’s your own fault if you die from COVID because you should have closed the borders to other countries yourself if you cared about it that much. If you win the competition but you don’t like the prize, rather than blame everyone else for not winning, the best and most sensible thing to do would be to see if you can exchange it for something you like. Or vouchers. It’ll nearly always be vouchers. But of course, that would be the best and most sensible thing to do, so it’s very unlikely to be anywhere on the government’s top ten list of next moves, of which number 1 ‘close our eyes and hope it all just blows over’.


So, after speaking to Professor Kenneth Armstrong a few weeks ago where he said that changes to our trading relationship can still be made, I wondered what solutions are there to the current situation without making everyone feel let down? Well, this week I spoke Patrick Lohlein, a former international trade consultant and national organiser for Conservatives For A People’s Vote, he now runs the EFTA4UK campaign. Yes, Patrick is probably the first Conservative that I’ve ever had on this podcast, no wait, come back! Because if you listen, you’ll see why he’s not happy how Brexit has ended up and why he believes joining the European Free Trade Association may be one way out of this that might somehow placate all sides which sounds, well, almost positive and hopeful which I’m just not used to. I asked Patrick all about just what EFTA is, what the chances of the UK government doing anything positive with our post Brexit trade agreements are, and if the narrative of making the EU an enemy is a hurdle to any of it happening. There is a teeny bit of background noise at one point because of the joys of everyone being in lockdown but it is very brief. So I hope you enjoy the notion that actually there are other routes available, and here is Patrick:




And we’ll be back with Patrick in a minute but first…




The funny thing about COVID as we know, is that schools are completely safe from it, unless people are in them, and it seems that similarly workplaces are also immune to all COVID activity apart from all the workers who work there who selfishly aren’t. Urgh, them germs are so tricksy.

There have been over 3549 outbreaks at workplaces since the pandemic began. In all kinds of workspaces too as it turns out that the coronavirus isn’t picky about what you do and in some ways it’s just another example about how we all need to more like COVID in respecting people’s careers. As you’re probably unsurprised to hear what with the government doing everything they can to minimise harm, the government body of Health and Safety Executive hasn’t shut down a single workplace that has put employees at risk and not a single employer has been prosecuted for safety failings since last March, but it must be tricky when the Prime Minister promised to put his arm around every worker so there’s every chance he’s been passing it round all by himself.


So aside from hoping part of the country’s economy can be boosted by an all British follow up to the Horrible Bosses films, there are a number of reasons why HSE don’t seem all that bothered about the H and the S right now. The first is that HSE haven’t put COVID in their highest risk category of ‘serious’, a decision the government have backed. Why isn’t it serious when it’s shut down the country and killed over 120,000 people? Well according to employment minister and the sort of person who looks she tells everyone that she’s a right laugh but never, ever is Mims Davies, it’s because the effects of ‘rona are non-permanent or reversible, non-progressive and any disability is temporary. Yes absolutely, I mean just how long is long covid anyway? Can’t be more than 200 years. And I mean if you die from coronavirus, it’s only for a short while isn’t it, then you’re back to work like nothing’s happened? Hence according to HSE, COVID is just in the ‘significant category’ which makes it harder for employment inspectors to prioritise it over the serious ones which I assume must be when someone releases terrigen mist on the second floor, or triffids invade your building site or something. In fact HSE inspectors have been told that because COVID is only a

significant risk, they mustn’t stop any workplace where workers are at risk, and only that if the inspectors themselves don’t feel comfortable being somewhere then they can leave. You know, I’m sorry if you don’t feel that other people are safe. That sort of thing. So that means that even though HSE have received over 25,000 complaints from workers just in January alone, they can’t really do much about it. For the workers, they can’t just leave if they aren’t happy with it, as they’ll lose their job and currently 70% of requests for the £500 self-isolation payment for those who can’t work from home have been rejected. But the government have been insistent on people only working from home if they can and even if you’re infectious but can’t get any money from your coach, then you’ll still have to pop by the office to share your gains with your colleagues. Team spirit and all that.


What makes all of this even harder is that even though, former business secretary and Minecraft character Alok Sharma made £14m available to HSE last Spring to hire staff for the call centre and inspections, there have been over £100m of cuts to the government body over the last 10 years. Exactly the same face upside down and Shadow Employment Rights and Protections Secretary Andy McDonald has been calling for a review of the classification of COVID but even if that happens, which it needs to, the staff aren’t going to be there to manage it. So sadly, if you’re a worker stuck somewhere that doesn’t care about your health and safety, the only reason the government will pop an arm round you is to get you into a headlock and shove you back to work.



And now back to Patrick…




Thanks to Patrick for having time to chat. You can find him on Twitter @patricklohlein and the EFTA4UK campaign can be found @EFTA4UK on Twitter and facebook, or the website Thanks tons to Tim for putting me in touch with Patrick too.


Who else shall I get on this podcast? I’m aware there’s tons of political issues I’ve not even had on once during this show’s 5-year history, and also some that I have to have on loads because they’re constantly an issue and some you’re probably sick off and wished could be shot into the sun. What are they, who shall I talk to about them, why don’t I just stop being lazy and google them myself ok…hey now, no need to be rude. You can of course send me any of that information, or insults about me outsourcing my guest finding to you for free like it’s some sort of big society plan or something, to @parpolbro on twitter, the Partly Political Broadcast group on Facebook, the contact page at or email me at Or you could just tell it to Amanda Holden and she’d probably drive all the way here to pass the message on, without even thinking twice. Or once. As always, it’s probably just best to email isn’t it?






And that’s it yet again for another episode of the Partly Political Broadcast podcast. Muchos gracias for persevering with this show even though you could be doing other things with your time like trying to count all the bricks ever, or working out just how you spell the word casj, short for casual. No its not just cash, that’s cash. Does it end in a J? Or is there a silent letter? No one knows. Yeah its annoying isn’t it? Someone pointed that out to me in 2010 and it still bothers me on a regular basis. You’re welcome. If you have enjoyed the show or you just need almost anything else to do in the world other than think about how you spell cash, then why not recommend this podcast to your trusted compadres? And then even go so far as to give it a shiny 5 stars on whichever podcast app you use, and should you wish to push the boat out so far it’ll float off and seek new, less COVID covered land, then why not also donate to the ko-fi, patreon or Acast supporter sites? Yes, why not? Oh really? Ok that’s a valid reason. Fair enough.


Muchos gracias too to Acast, apart from the Stitcher thing as that’s annoying. And also my brother The Last Skeptik for musics, Kat Day for liner note typing and Katie Coxall for arty times.


This will be back next week when Boris Johnson reveals that his roadmap to normality is just a line he drew with normality written at the end of it, in capital letters with a crayon. Before rolling a toy car along the paper and announcing it’s all fixed now so you can go back to work and school.




This week’s show was sponsored by British Ransom, a new exciting holiday experience for the vip clientele. Sick of relaxing by a pool? Wish you were anywhere but having cocktails at the bar? British Ransom is for you. For the price of your flight to Burundi or Angola and then your flight to the UK and then £1750 on top, you’ll be collected at the airport by top level G4S security who will whisk you away on a variety of exciting possibilities. Will you make it to your hotel prison, locked away for 10 days with only mediocre wifi or more if you actually pay for the upgrade but really who does that? Or will you get the one-on-one where you’re chained to a guard for 8 days and have a heart attack? Or maybe get the authentic British experience of being indoctrinated into cheap labour for £1 an hour? Maybe you’ll get information about an Iranian general, racist abuse shouted at you, or simply be left to die

and then have an electronic tag put on your ankle? Or better still, maybe no one will turn up at all and the army will have to step in. British Ransom, you pay for the best but you get the same people who’ve fucked it up year after year for the true sovereign experience.





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