Episode 162 – Halloween Special, Get Unready For Brexit, Festive Elections, Speaker 158 and Benita Matofska on Generation Share

Released on Tuesday, October 29th, 2019.

Episode 162 – Halloween Special, Get Unready For Brexit, Festive Elections, Speaker 158 and Benita Matofska on Generation Share

Episode 162 – Its the Partly Poltergeist BroadcAAARRRGGHHHST in this not quite Halloween special as what’s more unsettling than current politics? Brexit’s failed again, winter and speaker elections and Tiernan (@tiernandouieb) interviews Benita Matofska (@BenitaMatofska) all about Generation Share.

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Further Reading

Linear liner notes

It’s the Partly Poltergeist BroadcAAARRRGGHHHST in this not quite Halloween special as what’s more unsettling than current politics? Brexit’s failed again, winter and speaker elections and Tiernan (@tiernandouieb) interviews Benita Matofska (@BenitaMatofska) all about Generation Share. BONUS: Get your pens ready because AN ELECTION IS HAPPENING! AN ELECTION IS HAPPENING! A quick bonus episode to give you some gags about the December 12th election announcement before the reality of six weeks of hearing politicians blame each other for everything even more than they already do kicks in.

Links and sources of info from Benita’s interview:

All the usual ParPolBro stuff:


Episode 162




Hellooooo and welcome to the Partly Poltergeist BroadcARRRGHHHHst, the comedy politics podcast that for Halloween really won’t change much as how on earth could things be any more unsettling? This is episode 162, I’m Tiernan Douieb, I mean, er, Fearnan Booyeb, and I wonder if it’s possible for a zombie parliament to survive if there’s no brains to be found anywhere in the vicinity? Prime Minister and like if someone tried to carve a pumpkin using a spoon Boris Johnson has had to accept the EU’s extended Brexit deadline, has lost a vote to have a general election and while previous installments of the Conservative horror franchise have had the leads slashing more than Jason, 2019’s shite-night is more of a psychological torture where the main idiot has charged into unknown territory, gets held hostage and is too weak to escape. It’s a lot less popular than the earlier ones, but mostly because its repetitive, boring and full of plot holes, especially when viewers were promised an evocative death in a ditch. Johnson of course insists that he won’t allow the paralysis of parliament, but rather than that being heroic, it’s just more typical Conservatives, trying to force something to be fit for work when it clearly isn’t.


Yes, there has been several days of Brexit limbo, something that was obviously going to happen when the government had set the bar so, so low. But the EU have offered an extension, meaning that the UK’s withdrawal agreement, if there is one, doesn’t kick in until January 31st meaning that all of February could now be pancake day as we all have to ransack our cupboards for anything still edible as all the stockpiled food from last March has now gone off. This is failed Brexit day number 3 and while you might celebrate on Thursday by eating some fresh vegetables or swearing at a Wetherspoons, the government have now promised and not delivered Brexit three times, which if it were a parcel, would mean it’d now be returned to sender. Like all good curses the only way this can be lifted is if a lesson is learned which is not something Johnson or his government have experience of doing even when privately paid for. Or it’s passed to someone else, but with parliament blocking a general election the latter seems unlikely and so I guess we’ll just have to wait until a large hellmouth opens up and drags the Prime Minister in instead.


So where exactly are we with all of this? Good question and if parliament went to see the creepy old lady at the fair for a tarot reading, she’d likely just hand over cards from a board game telling them all to return to the beginning and start again. The government passed their Withdrawal Agreement bill to the second reading last week, which if you’d seen the bollocks that was in it, is much less of a victory and more a mean trick making them have to read through it again in front of class and then passed around so everyone can have a go at punching it. Of course, Johnson’s crew didn’t actually realise this as they’ve passed so few things recently that they don’t understand what passing a bill looks like. If they’d never seen an elephant before they’d be so desperate to tell people they had instead of looking stupid that they’d insist the dog they saw with its head stuck in some trousers was definitely a real life Dumbo. So, it’s understandable that they spent the days afterwards saying they had a parliamentary victory, because you’ll take what you can get right? But in fact the timetable for delivering the bill was voted against immediately afterwards, so it’s only a win for their Withdrawal Agreement Bill if they’re ok with everyone taking a closer look at it on their time and changing it completely. Worrying considering even the government didn’t seem to know what was in it. Johnson kept saying with his bill there’d be no checks between Northern Ireland and Britain except there would be. When asked why he keeps getting it wrong, his spokesperson said they aren’t checks, just minimal administrative processes. Sure, and when they look at your passport, that’s not border control, its just putting a name to a face. That’s a nice bill mind if I have a closer look? Turns out no, and the government stopped all scrutiny of their Brexit baby and instead made everyone look at the Queen’s Speech instead which got passed because you may as well let someone make their ludicrous plans for visiting Disneyworld if you know they’ll likely die before they get a chance to go. It was the make-a-wish foundation of votes, and I only hope that this whole saga ends by someone dressed as Darth Vader coming to meet Boris at Number 10 and demanding he give him a high five before he’s made to leave. Then Johnson got all upset even though he’d won that one probably because it’s like hitting the jackpot on a one-armed bandit that only dispenses passing thoughts and declared that they would put forward a vote on a general election. If it was blocked the government said that they would go on strike which is the most redundant threat ever. Do it. Let’s see how we all fare when a government that doesn’t do anything and can’t pass anything stops doing anything. Still I think watching the Conservatives try and unionise would be a lot of fun, and even more so seeing Labour cross the picket lines to go to work would really get confusing.


Meanwhile the EU were still discussing whether to give the UK an article 50 extension or if they should just respond with ‘new phone who dis’ and hopefully never have to hear from us again. But remember when President of the European Council and leprechaun from the film leprechaun Donald Tusk said the UK mustn’t waste time then we pissed about getting a new Pm who prorogued parliament unlawfully and tthen tried to pass a bill no one liked all over again, the EU sensibly wanted to wait to decide on the length of the extension depending on if the UK was having an election and the UK was waiting to see if they’d have an election based on the length of the extension. It was one big ouroboros with little clue as to which was the head or arse end but an understanding this might be why everyone is being snakey and full of shit. The EU budged first and so I guess this must mean that the government’s expensive Get Ready for Brexit adverts were actually just part one of many, with Get Set for Brexit to come some point next year probably, followed by ‘Sorry false start, back to positions’ in February, then an apology for delays due to the weather in June followed by some sort of mumbling about how Leave is on the line. This is a so called Flextension, which sounds like what happens when someone boasts about going to the gym at an inappropriate moment. But it means we could leave beforehand if the Withdrawal Agreement Bill is passed and that now means the Conservatives want an election on December the 12th which opens up all sorts of opportunities for a festive voting session. How about an advent calander leading up to it where door number 10 is a picture of Special Advisor and Pinhead who can’t even successfully arrange for the pins to be delivered Dominic Cummings, where he tells you he has no idea who you are. Then every other one promises they’ll contain something but are actually all empty. What about on voting day all the tiny pencils have small amounts of tinsel on, the ballot papers have snow and mistletoe on with each box a small present and volunteers shout ‘you’ve voted’ like Slade?


It might not happen like that though as Labour don’t want an election on December the 12th as leader Jeremy Corbyn in the Woods isn’t keen on that date due to issues with students voting, and it being cold and dark and oh what if it rains and what if it snows and won’t everyone be too busy pre-ordering turkeys to vote for one? There were some concerns that school nativity plays would have to be moved, but based on most parents I know, they’d rather be trying to boot this government out than watch a ton of kids being shit at acting just so they can see their child suck at being a sheep for 30 seconds. Meanwhile the Lib Dems and the SNP want to bring a bill for an election but on December the 9th instead of the 12th, as that’d leave no time to debate the Withdrawal Agreement Bill beforehand, and it’s on a Monday so they’re keen to ruin this podcast. It makes sense that the Lib Dems are keen on an election as post Brexit their manifesto will just be filled with shrug emojis, plus it might give them a chance to get rid of House of Wax extra Chukka Ummuna without having to be rude about it.


So, the government are now saying they’ll bring a bill that’s identical to the Lib Dems and SNP one except for it being on a different date which makes it not really identical. It’s like playing spot the difference between a tree and Boris Johnson which are completely different things. Sure, they’re both clearly barking, but only one shows definite promise of leaving. Their operation yellowhammer project for no deal preparation has been cancelled, so that’s only £2bn completely gone to waste, while the production of 50p Brexit coins has also been postponed which is a shame as now what will we use as tiny ninja stars that render the enemy useless through hysterical mocking laughter? Plus there’s the £100m spent on the Get Ready for Brexit campaign that’s now had to be paused due to false starts. It’s such a shame that bus didn’t say ‘we give £350m to the EU, let’s fund some shit PR stunts instead’. Which I think in a way would’ve been the most self-aware campaign ever. So that’s where we are everyone, the Conservatives not wanting an election, then wanting one but not being allowed one, Labour wanting one, then not wanting one, Lib Dems wanting one for a specific date or not at all, SNP the same, and all the while Brexit gears up for February because why not go all out for Lent and have a whole country that just gives up? I suppose it’s called a snap election because whatever happens half the population will feel like they’ve disappeared.


Despite all this, the Conservatives are still ahead in all of the polls. I can only conclude that by Boris Johnson consistently failing but having a delusional optimism that he’s still capable of winning, Johnson is displaying ultimate British Values and that’s more frightening than any of your Halloween nonsense.


In other news US President and The Babacrook Donald Trump tweeted ‘something very big has happened’ and while you’d have been forgiven for assuming he’d learned to put his own jacket on, he actually meant that the US Special Forces raid on the Syrian compound of ISIS leader and funeral santa Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi had been successful saying that they’d both killed him, but also that al-Baghdadi had detonated his suicide vest and killed himself. So I’m not sure how that counts as a hit for the US military unless they surrounded him and played him various recordings of Trump’s speeches till he he couldn’t take it anymore and blew himself up? Trump said during a press conference that the ISIS leader had spent his last moments in fear, whimpering crying and screaming all the way. But it turns out the footage he’d have been witness too was just overhead filming with no audio and that he was golfing during the raid itself, so it may be those were just the noises Trump made as they tried to interrupt his game to tell him what had happened. This has now left ISIS without effective leadership which may work against Trump as it could cause Americans to empathise with the terrorist group and feel like they have something in common. The US President has threatened that if the UK don’t repatriate ISIS detainees currently held in Syrian camps that the US will just drop them on the UK so our government can, as he said, have fun capturing them again. Well more fool him as what if Chucky could barely attack a beanbag Mark Francois will no doubt be using all his spare time thanks to a delayed Brexit to be wandering up and down the coastline with a pan on his head and a stick that he’s found that looks like a gun, so I’m sure we’ll be fine.


And lastly Labour MP and wannabe part of the Human Centipede but only if he can sell the other two a washing machine Keith Vaz is facing a six-month suspension from the Commons after expressing a willingness to buy cocaine for male prostitutes. Typical Labour MP wanting to make sure anesthetics are available to all and supporting sex workers. Ahem. If Vaz was clever though, he’d call up Michael Gove to see what line he’d take.

Former Scottish Conservative leader and Annie Wilkes tribute act Ruth Davidson has taken a paid job with a lobbying PR firm Tulchan Communications. I mean of course they’d want her, Davidson’s PR skills almost made the Scottish Conservstives not seem like a total joke. Almost. Davidson is urging MSP’s who think she’s breached parliamentary rules by taking the job while still an MSP herself, to refer her to the standards commissioner. We all know she’s got standards though or she wouldn’t have stood down when Johnson became PM. Its concerning that she can earn an extra £50k on top of her usual salary, promoting communications while using up time and ignoring her constituents. Then again, maybe what she wants to communicate is that she couldn’t give a shit, so maybe she is more of a traditional Scottish Conservative than she thinks.





Greetings ParPolBrods, and Splendid Samhain to you if you care about that sort of thing. My favourite thing to do on Halloween is wait till trick or treating kids come to the door and shout out of the window ‘actually you’ll find that older generations have all tricked you and ultimately there is little point in dressing as monsters when the true monsters are those who are accelerating climate change for profit.’ Then I’ll lob a tangerine in one of their eyes and hide till they go away. Of course I don’t actually do that, what I do is turn off all the lights in our flat and hope no one comes round at all as the doorbell will wake up our daughter and she’s now even more in need of sleep as the clocks going back means she’s up at 4am and oh god I’ll tell you what’s scary is how dead I am inside. Is it ok to trick or treat just for coffees? Actually what is scary is how every week parliament decide to have a really big vote on a Monday night so I think I’ve finished the podcast early then have to sit around for hours only for them to vote the way I think they’re going to just in-case they aren’t predictable and then you get this all rushed through, with garbled slurry me having scoffed a quick dinner before spitting it over the microphone and into your ears. I’m sorry, but its their fault, them MPs who refuse to plan everything around my specific needs. Arseholes. But yes apologies for last week’s show which I managed to record incorrectly then had to re-record really late and I think ended up with all the music too loud and my voice extra tired and it probably sounded a bit like you were being cornered by a bore in a nightclub. I am sorry, hopefully this week is all back to normal. OR PARANORMAL! HAHAHAHAHAHAAH


Just slamming those Halloween gags home on the one week I’m allowed to do them. Its what’s needed isn’t it? So many good gag opportunities missed at the moment. The Mail On Sunday did a big piece about Jeremy Corbyn falling asleep on a train, which was usual non-story nonsense from them, but I was totally gutted they didn’t give it the headline ‘Jeremy Snore-byn.’ I mean, why waste that? How can you be imaginative enough to come up with a story when there isn’t one but run out of steam for the headline? Bleak.


Anyway, thanks for listening in whether you’re using your own ears or one of the variety you keep in the fridge for snacks, or maybe this is being emitted through the possessed child you keep in the attic? Either way I am grateful for your time sacrifice and should you enjoy the show why not give it a little review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Pod Bean or your own gravestone, just a quick ‘RIP’ followed by the pod link, and if you can donate either a few pounds or an organ to the ko-fi.com/parpolbro site or patreon.com/parpolbro then it’s always appreciated as I currently need enough caffeine to raise the dead. If you can’t do any of that because your fingers have left your hand to become their own creepy entities, and you only have an account in a blood bank, then please do spread the word about this show, perhaps like the Ring where if people don’t pass this on they’ll have to bear the curse by themselves and then who can they talk to about my sick politician descriptions every week?


Admin, or maybe for Halloween, Badmin? No that just sounds like half a sport. Arrrghdmin? Sigh, I’ll leave it. Admin, you may or may not have noticed that I didn’t plug the live gig on the 29th last week and that’s because I’ve sadly had to cancel it. I’d love to pretend it’s because of the ever changing nature of Brexit or because I’ve got some big telly show but sadly it’s just because it seemed no one wanted to come, no one booked any tickets and I completely misjudged the notion that any of you might have wanted to pay to hear yet more crap about Brexit. Clearly not and to be honest, I don’t blame you. I’ll have a think about a better time and place to do a live show in future and try and work something out. Sorry if you were one of a handful of people planning to come but much like politics right now, if you don’t rally enough support it just doesn’t happen. Sigh. In other things, the kids politics show I do with Tatton at Simple Politics, aka How Does This Politics Thing Work Then? is at Dorchester Arts this Saturday November 2nd, then Chew Valley Arts next Saturday November 9th and then the Wardrobe Theatre Bristol on Nov 10th. Do come along, and also I’m going to be supporting Frankie Boyle yet again at the Soho Theatre through December. Tickets aren’t up on sale yet but do keep checking the Soho Theatre website to grab some when they do.


On this week’s SPOOKTACULAR podcast, I am speaking to Benita Matofska all about the SCARING ECONOMY! Sorry, I mean the sharing economy. It’s actually not spooky at all and just rather lovely. Plus, who and how will be the next FREAKER OF THE COMMONSTERS? Sorry, I mean Speaker of the Commons. This season is so tedious isn’t it?
























As it’s a Halloween special, I thought this week I’d focus on something truly scary: Sharing. Yes, the most terrifying concept when it comes to that bag of chips you’re about to enjoy, or if you’re JK Simmons most arsehole character and billionaire Jezz Bezos when it comes to, well, anything. Of course to you and I, when not eating chips, sharing is an important part of being a human bean and one of those things you learn about as a kid, how to share, how to not hog things all for yourself, how nice it is to let someone else play with your toys, sit on a chair with you, and take turns attacking your younger sibling with that stick you found. But as adults, that message becomes less prevalent in our lives, with the majority of times you hear the term shares being during the financial section of the news, and instead an insistence that a meritocracy is the way forward even though the people that seem to do best from it are those that already have money and privilege which feels like encouraging everyone to compete in a race for a trophy while you’re the one who gets to start at the finishing line. This is where the sharing economy comes in, collaborative consumption, a way to distribute or offer services to other people because, well, you’re nice like that and it’s a lovely thing to do. There is the monetary version of this, allowing you to drive people places in your car which in my case would be less caring and more a punishment. or rent your home to them for money, which again for me would mean charging people money to live in a home that has crayon on all the tables and old banana expertly smashed into the wall. But there is a vast not for profit element to it too, where you can offer your time, help, company or perhaps even chip protection to those who need it. The internet and apps have facilitated this, with sites like, for example, freecycle meaning furniture is recycled to people who need it rather than turned into pointless waste showing that by sharing you’re helping environmentally, economically and you’ll feel all warm inside because you’ve done something nice. Yes, even warmer than if you’d eaten all your chips by yourself.


With the country still so very divided I thought it’d be nice to speak to Benita Matofska this week, aka the Chief Sharer, international speaker, global sharing economy expert, change maker and author of Generation Share, a collection of stories about people who’ve built the sharing economy all around the world. Benita explained to me exactly what a sharing economy is, why companies such as Uber and AirBnB aren’t exactly what you should have in mind when it comes to sharing properly and all about the Generation Share book. Ok, maybe you can have A chip.


Here’s Benita:




And we’ll be back with Benita in a minute, but first:





Star of the Critters franchise John Bercow is stepping down as Speaker of the house this week, after 10 years of shouting order like someone who doesn’t understand how at a Nandos you have to go to the till. Bercow’s time as the 157th Speaker has seen him be praised as a hero for upholding parliamentary rules which is what he should be doing in his job, while also condemned for being a bully, something that I just can’t see as being a thing when his entire job is shouting at people telling them to shut up…oh. But what everyone can agree on is that Bercow’s distinctive yelling style very much made the role of speaker his own. But what is the speaker, what does the job actually entail apart from telling Chancellor of the Duchy and Annabelle but hit by a truck Michael Gove to shut up all of the time, which yes, does make the role increasingly appealing. And how will they elect a new one next week? Does it involve a competition where they all have to shout a coconut off its stand the quickest? Do they all go into a room and shout ‘order’ into a spire and whoever’s yell can be heard by the congregation below wins?


This week I thought it’d be good to explain all as the changing of the speaker really isn’t a regular occurrence, unless you work at a stingy music venue and instead of buying cheap ones. The Speaker of the House of Commons is basically the chair person who decides which members of the house get to speak when, gets to choose which amendments to a bill are debated, maintains order when all the MPs get all school playground on each other and is allowed to punish members when they break the rules like last year, when Leader of the SNP in the Commons and, the Gingerdead Man, Ian Blackford was ejected for refusing to sit down. Its lucky he remembered his PE kit or he’d have been in extra trouble. They also have to remember the names and faces of over 600 MPs which can’t be easy especially when some of them, like Brexit Secretary and that moment on Most Haunted when Yvette Fielding pretends she can hear something but actually someone just farted Stephen Barclay, who is factually impossible to remember even when looking directly at him.


Even though Bercow was elected as a Conservative MP by his constituency, more fool them because the role of speaker is strictly non-partisan and they can’t take part in any debates or votes unless it’s to break ties, and even then thanks to Speaker Denison’s rule, a constitutional convention since 1867, they should give their deciding vote towards leaving a bill in its existing form, as changes should require a majority. Basically, the whole role is that teacher who was ultimately boring despite saying things in a funny way but then when you leave schools, you realise they were very necessary to stop the whole class becoming just a shit flinging tea party of chimpanzees at the zoo. The Conservative Party have really hated Bercow in recent years, trying to launch coups against him and have him replaced many a time during the Brexit discourse, mostly because he insisted on following rules and not letting them bring the same failed bill unchanged 600 times in front of parliament and allowing amendments that have changed the Brexit timetable so that legislation can’t be pushed through without scrutiny. For the Tories, he’s been a partypooper extraordinaire, but we all know had he let the party continue unpooped everything would be even more poopy as a result.


But who will replace him and will they pander to the government a tad more or follow in Bercow’s order? Well there are currently 9 candidates for speaker, because it turns out being non-partisan when no one likes the parties they’re in, is a pretty great place to be. The candidates are Veteran Labour MP and the Hills Have Neighs and Ayes Sir Lindsay Hoyle who is favourite to win on account of him being Bercow’s senior deputy and knowing all the ropes already. Then there is Labour MP and Darren Aronofsky’s Mother of the House Harriet Harman who is the second favourite at the bookies, and says she sees the role as being more about being the servant of parliament so maybe she’d get everyone tea during the longer debates but has to sleep in a cupboard behind her chair and clean up when everyone’s gone. There’s also Labour MP and what if Norman Bates was really dull Chris Bryant, who is a former minister so would probably get cross a lot. There’s Conservative MP and extra in Get Out Dame Eleanor Laing who said she wants to be a still, small voice of calm, or that might be a misspelling and is meant to be a still, small voice of clam which sounds better. Tory MP, Brexiteer and Hellbore Sir Edward Leigh, who doesn’t want the much needed refurbishments on the palace of Westminster so his time as speaker would likely bring the house down, literally. Then the last four who are so unlikely to get it, I can’t be bothered to write silly descriptions of them, are Labour’s Dame Rosie Winterton who is currently a deputy speaker, Conservative MP Shailesh Vara who said he wants to send a powerful message to every single child in this country, so I guess he’ll interrupt MPs by shouting ‘smoking is bad for you’ or something, Conservative Sir Henry Bellingham who wants to bring back traditional speaker’s dress of a wig and gown because nothing says order than looking like a mime sheep, and Labour’s Meg Hillier who’s complained about all the singing and shouting the commons so don’t invite her to karaoke or she’ll cry.


On November 4th a secret vote will take place, chaired by Father of the House and Heapshow Ken Clarke where each candidate will speak to the house, and I guess if they can’t, that’s them eliminated immediately as what’s the point? MPs will vote and the winner has to have an absolute majority otherwise I guess it’d get confusing if someone needed to make a deciding vote. If no one gets a majority they just get rid of any with less than 5% of the votes and redo until one does, then Ken Clarke will put the question of ‘that insert name of winner here do take the chair of this house as speaker’ and if its passed they get dragged to the chair by fellow MPs because nothing is more funny than pretending the whole system is oppressive.


Bercow chairs his last PMQs this week, then Speaker 158.0 arrives next week they could bring servitude, a small clam voice or maybe an old wig to the Commons. With 9 possibles to choose from, we’ll just have to se out who MPs decide to, erm, order order.



And now back to Benita:




Thanks very much to Benita for having time to chat. You can find her on Twitter @benitamatofska and her website is benitamatofska.com. The People Who Share are on Twitter @peoplewhoshare and the website is peoplewhoshare.com, and the Generation Share book, by Benita and also Sophie Sheinwald, is available in lots of places by mainly Policy Press and I’ll pop all links in the podblurb. It also has its own Facebook, youtube and Instagram channel too. Thanks loads to Charlie who emailed to recommend I get in touch with Benita. Much appreciated.


Who else shall I interview? What subjects shall I talk to someone about? Shall I just do a Ouija board and see how many times it tells me nothing or worse, conjures up the ghost of Margaret Thatcher and then I have to spend hours arguing about how if you don’t follow the crowd and you let the crowd follow you, all that will happen is lots of people will be really angry that I’ve got them lost instead of finding the emergency fire meeting point.  Anyway let me know who I should actually talk to via the contact page on partlypoliticalbroadcast.co.uk, the @parpolbro Twitter account, the Partly Political Broadcast facebook group or email me at partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com.






And that’s all for this year’s Halloween Partly Poltergeist BroadcAARGGHHHst and thank you for listening whether you were lucky enough to be buried with a smartphone inside your coffin or you’re just hearing this quietly played as you sleep but can’t work out where its coming from. If you’ve dead enjoyed the show, please do review the show, donate some blood to the koi-fi or Patreon sites and do tell others about it or maybe just leave a creepy message that if they it in reverse while standing in a salt pentagram gives a heartwarming recommendation to subscribe.


Thanks to Acast, erm, ARRRGGHcast for hosting the show, my brother The Last Skeptik, sorry, Skeleton for all the concerning noises and to Kat Day, er, Night for typing up the linear liner notes.


This will be back next week when it’ll have been decided to do an election on Christmas Day as everyone’s around and all the purdah laws will mean the Queen’s Speech will just be her singing James Brown’s Funky Christmas.




This week’s show was sponsored by the ultimate winter voting kit. Election in December? Grab one of these kits including a headtorch for dark early voting, a furry pen so you can keep your fingers warm and snug as you make sure they don’t change your vote, deerstalker tin foil hat to protect you from any mind changing waves as you walk to the polling station and thermal milkshake shield to keep you cosy as you repel any incoming dairy products while trying to tell certain people they can’t vote because their eyebrows aren’t British enough. The Ultimate Winter Voting Kit, making sure even your 90 year old self can still keep things shit for the young uns.


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