Episode 156 – Another week of Boris making a Hulkin’ great mess, only this time he’s joined by the last two Prime Ministers being awful like the world’s worst anniversary edition, meanwhile the Lib Dems keep stealing all their MPs. Plus Brexit Fallout, and Tiernan (@tiernandouieb) talks to Emily Kenway (@EmilyKenway) on Modern Slavery.
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Another week of Boris making a Hulkin’ great mess, only this time he’s joined by the last two Prime Ministers being awful like the world’s worst anniversary edition, meanwhile the Lib Dems keep stealing all their MPs. Plus Brexit Fallout, and Tiernan (@tiernandouieb) talks to Emily Kenway (@EmilyKenway) on Modern Slavery.
Links and sources of info from Emily’s interview:
All the usual ParPolBro stuff:
Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast, the comedy podcast that has definitely not lied to the Queen, apart from that time when she said she’d spent 67 years on the throne and I said ‘you need more fibre in your diet’ and she said ‘what did you say?’ and I said ‘nothing’. This is episode 156 because the politics just keeps happening, I’m Tiernan Douieb and this week Prime Minister and glued together carpet shop scraps Boris Johnson has suggested that we’ll break free of the EU like the Incredible Hulk, it shows that Johnson’s knowledge of superheroes is limited or he’d know that the biggest struggle the Hulk has is an internal one. Boris of course is not unlike the Hulk himself in that people don’t like him when he’s angry. Or when he’s happy. Or really ever. And he also struggles to keep his trousers on. However, where he’s different from the Hulk is that he doesn’t have a highly intelligent alter-ego, just an idiot he hired as a special advisor, and he’s only green when it comes to ability.
Also, to the Incredible Hulk’s credit, storming into a meeting with the EU shouting ‘Hulk Smash’ is still a far more intelligent, coherent stance than Johnson’s. In his first meeting with President of the European Commission and Disney’s Professor Owl Jean Claude Juncker, the only things the Prime Minister brought to the table were his threat that he might break the law if he hasn’t already, and absolutely no alternative for a backstage apart from some half-arsed ideas about building an impossible bridge over a ton of explosives. Why would anyone trust Boris with building a bridge ever again anyway, after he’s either failed to make or burned all the ones he’s previously been involved with? Johnson may as well have walked into Brussels declaring that if no one makes him the chocolate teapot he designed in his dream, he’ll punch his own face into a coma. Needless to say, absolutely no progress has been made yet again and if anything, now the EU know there’s a possibility of Johnson ending up in prison I’m not sure why they’d bother with making an effort either. Johnson insists the EU has had a bellyful of process but considering he’s never given them anything of any substance it’ll be like getting a takeaway where they’re hungry for more an hour after he’s left. If as he says they are fed up of endless delays, then it really doesn’t help that by providing them with absolutely nothing does it? You don’t wang on about how someone’s really dehydrated when you’ve turned up with only a bag of sand and some drawings of water that you haven’t actually got.
After Juncker, Johnson was meant to meet with the Luxembourg Prime Minister for a press conference but after being booed at by crowds, he cancelled it and instead Xavier Bettel did it all by himself next to an empty podium, criticizing Boris while looking like an angry murkin. Unless Boris is emulating when the Hulk disappears at the end of Avengers: Age of Ultron and he’s going to try his best to actually be liked on a completely different planet very far away? We can only hope. Either way, nothing paints a better picture of the UK’s future with the EU quite like it failing to show up and everyone carrying on regardless. Johnson says he cancelled as it wouldn’t have been fair to the PM of Luxembourg due to all the noise from outside, saying that they wanted to the conference to happen indoors. What a cowardly stance that is. Is that what his hero Churchill would’ve done? ‘We shall fight them on the beaches, we will fight…what? The beaches are outside? Well that’s not fair on anyone is it, it’ll be very noisy. Let’s not bother then.’ Basically people, this is all definitive proof that no matter what he says, Boris prefers being in to being out.
If Nero fiddled while Rome burned, that Emperor can very much hold Boris Johnson’s beer as this sort of pointless time-wasting task is indicative of the last week. Although its far more likely that if he was meeting the ancient European leader he’d just not bother to show up. Despite time being very much of the essence as the clocks ticks down to a no deal and conference season gets underway, the Prime Minister has spent most of it getting heckled in the North of England, getting Marvel characters wrong, and insisting he hasn’t lied to the Queen which, if true, might make her the first woman he’s been honest with in his life. Johnson had to vouch for not telling porkies to Lizzie after The Scottish Court of Session ruled that his proroguing of parliament was unlawful as it wasn’t for legitimate political considerations. So, questions arose as to whether Johnson saying it was to work on the Queen’s speech was total bullshit but to be fair to him, judging by his recent remarks it probably would take some serious time and research to work out which superhero the Queen is like, considering she doesn’t seem to have any viable powers anymore. But while the Scottish Courts of Session didn’t enforce a recall of parliament, the government have appealed to the Supreme Court which will be decided on this week and whatever the outcome it’ll have a deciding factor in how the rule of law affects parliament and what the Queen does with liars. I’d like to believe there’s some medieval law that has never been amended that means Johnson will be strung up by his nether regions over Buckingham Palace as a warning to others but chances are considering how often her staff and family must lie to her about how riveting her Christmas speeches are or how well her husband drives or just everything Andrew does, its likely a soz text will suffice. The ruling also raises questions about whether Boris’s plans are for a suspension bridge between NI and Scotland and if so, will he try to start it earlier than he should and will it be illegal?
Some reports are suggesting Johnson will u-turn and the UK could remain closely aligned to the EU until 2022, meaning by the prime minister’s own words, he should be dead in a ditch by November the 1st. Its looking more likely though that we’re still heading for a no deal, an outcome that we now have an idea of what it might look like thanks to the enforced government release of the Operation Yellowhammer documents, hilariously named after a small bird that is rapidly on the decline. The five pages looked very similar to the leaked report from a few weeks ago with the big difference being that those said base case scenario but these ones said worst case. So either they’ve changed it assuming it might cause panic, the base case and the worst case are exactly the same as lack of planning means there only is one, or as floor dragged kebab and Chancellor of the Duchy Michael Gove is in charge of it, base case could’ve just referred to it being his choice surface for cutting lines and now he’s to pass it round he’s gone back to using the top of the lavvy again. The supposed actual worst case scenario documents are titled Black Swan, either in reference to things being like Thom Yorke wailing ‘this is fucked up’ over and over again or everyone will easily reach Natalie Portman’s weight when method acting as a ballerina.
Yellowhammer states that there will be a lack of fresh fruit and veg, as well as low medicine supplies, but also that there are concerns about rioting and protests which can’t be true as everyone will be so vitamin deficient that leaving their homes will prove too tricksy. Leader of the Brexit Party and the result of pouring toxic waste on the Wednesday morning post office queue Nigel Farage said that Yellowhammer was just Project Fear Mark Two, which would mean its new and improved on the first instance and said that its just a worst-case scenario so very unlikely. He’s right, I mean why should we ever prepare for the most severe scenario? I dunno about you but I’m planning to just insure my car for milkshake spillages and grinding the gears, and if you live in an area prone to flooding, why not scrap the insurance and sandbags and just carefully place a sponge on your front lawn instead?
Former rebellious Conservative MP and style influencer for Dr Bunsen Honeydew Sam Gyimah has joined the Lib Dems just in time for their party conference even though there were probably easier ways to have got a ticket. Gyimah now joins former Tories Sarah ‘I definitely run a PTA and treat it like a dictatorship’ Wollaston and Philip ‘I’ve not slept in 48 years’ Lee as the Lib Dems overall game plan just seems to be that they’ll stop Brexit by making all the Conservatives join them until they take over the government. What does this mean for the party that they now have taken on an MP who actively blocked the progression of a gay pardon law for those accused of previously criminal sexual acts, while Lee refused to vote for gay marriage and wanted to make it so immigrants demonstrate they are free of HIV before entering the UK. And all three former Conservative MPs were pro-austerity. Are the Lib Dems moving rightwards or did they just take notes from their former colleagues on what you need to get big donors and voted into government in the UK? Since extra from Peanuts Jo Swinson took over as Lib Dem leader they have gained a new MP every nine days, so if that continues they’d have 6 more by October the 31st allowing them to, well, not really do much but I guess they could adequately play football against themselves while a No Deal crashes in. If nothing else, it must be nice that they’ve now been able to move this year’s conference from scout hut to a local café. The Lib Dems have now voted that their plan isn’t just for a second referendum but to revoke Article 50 and as they say cancel Brexit, which I think means teenagers will ignore it online for about a week, making a ton of memes before entirely forgetting what it was all about and then being into it again. Swinson says she won’t enter a coalition with either Labour or the Conservatives and wants to win 300 seats in an election, though she didn’t specify if that was a general election or just one where people choose who gets to look after a lot of furniture. The latter seems more plausible.
The Labour Party have been very busy doing what they do best, which is of course contradicting themselves because why annoy a few when you can piss off the many? Labour leader and Gerald Gardner dilute Jeremy Corbyn confirmed that his party promise to hold a second referendum if they win an election, with a credible leave option on the ballot as well as remain. But he won’t say which side Labour would back probably because they’d just campaign for a weird middle ground option called ‘this and that, odds and sods’ hoping that if people vote for it they’ll pledge to umm and errr about it for so long people will lose all memory of what it was all about in the first place and they’ll get away with doing nothing. Deputy leader and King of the Hill star Tom Watson realized that everyone had ignored him for 5 minutes so piped up to demand Labour campaign for a referendum before an election even though the Lib Dems aren’t campaigning for one anymore so it won’t have a majority so Watson’s plan is essentially to help Labour win an election by losing a call for a referendum first. Tom Watson there, a man whose team building exercise would involve going to paintball and insisting on only firing at his own team until they learn something.
Meanwhile concerned that Boris Johnson’s complete ineptitude as Prime Minister may make people fondly remember their premierships, the last two Number 10 denizens have been faceplanting into the spotlight for all the worst reasons. The resignation honours list from face drawn on a stalactite Theresa May was unveiled and it seemed she’s mainly handed them out to her closest aides despite the only thing that they all really excelled at being failure. Her former advisors Nick Timothy and Fiona Hill, looking like neighbours who’d insist on walking round the garden naked but call the police on you if your hedge wass overgrown, they’ve been awarded CBE’s despite them resigning after helping lose May her majority in the 2017 snap election and many accusation of bullying. How can they be commanders of the British Empire? Though I suppose as the empire has pretty much collapsed maybe they are the correct types to help stamp out the burning embers and then claim victory when their own side are all defeated. May also awarded a knighthood to cricketer and inspiration for how Deadpool’s face looks without a mask Geoffrey Boycott, a man most well-known for his batting and depressingly battery after being convicted of assaulting his ex-girlfriend in 1998. It does seem like Theresa May had more care and compassion for cricket than for women but then I guess that should’ve been clear after so many of her policies have increased inequality and preferred instead to spend most of her time as PM completely stumped. Hugely Unlikeable Prime Minister minus 2 and the result of a very damaged jelly mold David Cameron has been publicizing his whatever the opposite of highly anticipated is autobiography, entitled For The Record, because he only likes music formats with spin. Part of his PR was attending an International Summit on Population Genomics, presumably because of his own efforts to merge his DNA with a pigs. But also he’s been telling shocking revelations about his time in the Brexit office, such as, and wait for this, you’re not going to believe it, but… Boris Johnson backed leave in order to help his career. WHAT? NO WAY! I mean I need to buy David Cameron’s book now if its full of juicy juicy like that. What other exciting chapters are there? 30 pages of revelations that bears shit in the woods?
Lastly, with badger on speed John Bercow standing down, the search for the next speaker of the House is on with several possible candidates. However, I’d like to officially put myself forward as I can speak, I have ordered things and I really, really want to tell Michael Gove to shut up.
Welcome wonderful ParPolBrods, and thanks for tuning in to yet another one of these podcast things. They just keep happening, I can’t help it. I should probably see someone about it. Before anything else as you might have heard at the very, very top of the show, this week’s podcast is part of PodStrike, which isn’t a strike like a worker’s strike as I’m not sure how this podcast would stop being a podcast for a day. But its more a strike as in, SLAM IN YOUR FACE, in order to support the global climate strike this Friday on the 20th September. Its organized by Greta Thunberg and the UK Student Climate Network and by popping the ads and logos on this week’s show I hope it will encourage you to take part or at least find out and support the strike which you can check out all the info about at globalclimatestrike.net so go do that now. Or wait till you’ve listened to this show as it’s a bit rude really for you to just walk off like that. What do you mean you can do it at the same time? I’m very impressed. Anyway, if you’d like to see what other podcasters are also champions of fighting climate change then you can head to podstrike.net to see who’s on the team.
I won’t do much admin waffling on this week’s show as I am on solo childcare duty for some of this week as my wife’s away on work stuff which means I have been dealing with my daughter who has upgraded in the last week or so to suddenly be able to reach the cutlery draw and wield chopsticks (the only bit she can get to) like they are weapons, which in her tiny hands to be fair, they are and I do like my eyes. Today a friend rang and within the few minutes I’d been on the phone to him she’d gone all Tasmanian Devil and unrolled the entire loo roll, thrown spoons all over the floor, unplugged her intercom and tried to put her fingers in the socket and pushed over a whole ton of stuff. It’s like a computer game where your house has been plagued by a mischievous goblin and you somehow have to catch everything they throw at you. I’m tempted to buy a child’s Hannibal Lecter outfit for her so she can spend the week trussed up and only remove the mask for eating times. It does make me realise how clear it is that Boris Johnson must neglect his kids otherwise he’d be much more used to juggling disasters. Anyway, thank you for all the nice words about last week’s show even from those of you who were very clear you didn’t agree with all that Jordan said and hey, you wouldn’t believe the willpower I had to have when he said he was influenced by how great Farage was. If I’d have had a wooden bar to bite down on I’d have chewed through it. But very pleased you all liked it, all that sort of posting on the socials very much helps and speaking of which, welcome to all the new listeners including all you wrestlers who were recommended this pod by the excellent Jim Smallman. I hope this show crosses over well with wrestling what with me, er, grappling the big topics, slamming MPs and me regularly getting completely thrown by complicated terms. Yes I promise to never do that again.
Big thanks to Chris, Helena, Ruby and James for the ko-fi donations all of which have gone into the coffee pot, as in the pot for coffee purchasing, not the pot for coffee as that’d be disgusting and hard to drink. If you too would like to and can donate to the podcast its hugely appreciated, especially, as I mentioned last week, with the upcoming changes that’ll mean this show makes even less than it already does because capitalism is the best. Sigh. You can do that at ko-fi.com/parpolbro or if you don’t mind the patreon dollars situ then patreon.com/parpolbro. If you can’t or don’t want to do that, please give the show a review on one of the many pod review sites or just throw a review up in places that don’t review podcasts. Think outside the box, slam a review for this on a google review for some plumbers or a roundabout or something.
Oh, and the live gig is still happening on Oct 29th at 2Northdown. I will reveal more details of who’s involved in the next few weeks but mainly come along if you like this show and need somewhere to have beers before they’re all stockpiled for the 31st. You can find currently far too many tickets on 2northdown.com or the link I’ve popped on the pod blurb.
On this week’s show I am speaking to now second time podguest Emily Kenway all about modern slavery, which no, isn’t the progressive version of slavery, that isn’t a thing. Stop thinking that. Awful. Plus, of course, Brexit Fallout, despite not really having anything to say that hasn’t already been done on this show but hey, what sort of politics podcast would this be if I didn’t embrace the current inclination for pointlessly scrambling in circles pretending I know things when I clearly don’t? Well exactly. Now get this in your ears:
INTERVIEW WITH EMILY
You might have heard the term Modern Slavery bandied about on the news in recent years, and while you wouldn’t be forgiven for thinking it was a very ill-advised spin off from the sitcom Modern Family, it’d be very fair if you weren’t quite sure what it meant. This is because it can mean a number of things, but crucially modern slavery refers to institutional slavery that is somehow still happening in present day society, because yet again humanity is its own worst enemy. And, yes, it is happening right here in the UK, something that you probably would have found more surprising a few years back before we entered the political rollercoaster we’re currently on where all our successive leaders have forgotten to correctly strap in regulation or morality. Saying that, Prime Minister minus 1, cactus made of skin, Theresa May did promise money to end modern slavery, and called it the great human rights issue of our time, which is very much at odds with how she usually dealt with human rights issues by just blaming them on someone else while simultaneously making them worse or you know, threatening to abolish the act those rights were part of. To be fair, that would end the problem, just in the way brushing all your crap under the carpet and referring to it as the camel rug definitely ends your messy room. May did introduce the Modern Slavery Act in 2015 as Home Secretary and since then there has been an increase in tackling modern slavery. But a review of the act earlier this year pointed out that the act just hasn’t really done enough, allowing those responsible for such grim oppressions of vulnerable people, to, well, not really be accountable at all. Yes, I know, there is definitely a theme with everything that happened under May’s government. With so few convictions for modern slavery, it’s been asked again recently if victims of it are being failed in the UK, with the home office replying that its due to there only being a small number of cases. So what does Modern Slavery actually mean and include and is this just another case of the government renaming things so they don’t have to deal with it and will we soon see a report about the prevalence of contemporary servitude, current day thrall and more, with an absence of funds to deal with any of them and a mountain to climb just to get past the rug in your room?
This week I spoke to Emily Kenway, a former advisor to the UK’s Independent Anti-Slavery Commissioner, and current advisor to an anti-slavery NGO. Emily has actually been on this podcast many moons ago when she worked with the living wage foundation and she now, in a similar tackling of societal injustice, is an expert on what needs to be done in order to make sure that people aren’t still suffering under what, despite its name, is an archaic and brutal treatment that has only really progressed or changed in how its carried out. So I asked Emily all about what exactly modern slavery is, what, if anything, is being done to prevent it and also if Theresa May actually managed to do anything of note because sometimes it’s nice to ask questions that you lot will feel gratified that you already knew the answer for. Here is Emily:
INTERVIEW WITH EMILY PART 1
And we’ll be back with Emily in a minute, but first…
If you haven’t been keeping up with where we are with Brexit, that’s fine as most of the political parties haven’t either. I mean the Conservatives are still heading for a no deal on account of Boris Johnson spending his time being taken down by people in Leeds and cancelling press conferences because he’s scared of noises, but is supposedly backing away from a no deal even though Johnson’s still telling the EU he doesn’t want an extension to article 50 even though legally he has to ask for one and even though he clearly loves them as his entire wanting to be prime minister was essentially one big extension to make up for his tiny penis. Meanwhile Labour don’t want a no deal, but they do want a deal but they might want an election first but some of their MPs don’t want that and Tom Watson now wants a referendum where Labour back remain because his insistance on never being satisfied with whatever his party decide is nearly at a point where Mick Jagger would tell him to fuck off. The Lib Dems now want to revoking article 50 and be done with it all although half of their MPs are now former Tories so chances are they’ll change their mind before anything goes through, and if anything not backing a referendum anymore just means they’ll split the remain vote so chances are a harder Brexit will get through anyway which is maybe what they want so they can then argue amongst themselves like a big league party. The Greens have now slammed the Lib Dees for their new stance and said they still back a referendum because even though they back remaining they say you can’t turn your back on leavers which was sort of what Labour said but not very well before and they criticized them for it then and it’s almost like the Greens just love recycling ideas.
And the Brexit party? Well they are still being just so damn vague about what they want. Why don’t they just clearly state their preference? It’s all too confusing and really doesn’t help them stand out when everyone’s else Brexit policies are so clear.
The big questions right now are what will happen if the government ignores the law and doesn’t ask for an extension? If they do ask for an extension will Boris have to die in a ditch? Have they already broken the law by proroguing and that being ruled unlawful in Scotland? Will a second referendum happen? And what will happen if we do leave on Oct 31st without any deal?
Well considering this podcast isn’t 6 hours long, here’s a quick set of answers to most of them. I have no idea, I hope so, no because they didn’t enforce it and it will depend on what happens in the supreme court, probably not as there’s no majority for it unless there’s an election and Labour win even though its now likely been scuppered by the Lib Dems and ah…well as for the last one, thanks to Operation Yellowhammer, which sounds like a version of the popular board game where you get to remove items from a fictional Viking chief, but it isn’t.
The measly 5 page report stated briefly what the government think would happen in the event of a no deal, in what, on official release is supposedly a worst case scenario and also has a big bit redacted because there’s no better way to make sure the public don’t panic than by blocking out a paragraph that could be ‘WATCH OUT EVERYTHING WILL EXPLODE’. I mean I’m pretty certain that isn’t what it says but now they’ve redacted it, we will never ever know. Ever. Ahem. Actually comparing it to the very, very similar report that was leaked in August, it likely says that no deal will lead to two refinery closures with direct job losses as in order to make petrol imports competitive the government will set tariffs to 0%, and there will be 1-2 weeks of disruptions of fuel availability in the regions supplied by those refineries. So that’s great because job losses and people panic buying petrol are exactly what a country needs in these times of uncertainty.
The rest of the report, brief as it is, is fairly worrying, with medical supplies and medicines being hugely vulnerable potentially leading to disease outbreaks, certain fresh food supplies would be reduced as would types of packaging and low income groups will be disproportionately affected which is cool right as they’ve had it so damn easy for years AMIRIGHT? Gibraltar is going to have a terrible time, there will very likely be some sort of hard border between Northern Ireland and Ireland, no-ones prepared and there’ll likely be riots because remember people called the police when KFC ran out of chicken. It also seems that businesses and public bodies are not very ready for any of it. On the plus side, electricity and water shouldn’t be affected so you’ll be rehydrated and able to see as everyone storms Westminster at night. And hey, without packaging or petrol we’ll be a more environmentally friendly country overall, so it’s just a shame we’ll all have some sort of zombie virus and be ready quarantined from the rest of the world.
These are estimates and despite the change in wording from base case scenario to worst case scenario, its still just predictions based on the fact the government has really done fuck all and didn’t even want people to know about it. But some places are prepared, grocers are apparently making procedures to air lift food in, I know from my diabetic nurse that the insulin I need has been stockpiled just not necessarily the equipment I need to inject myself with it, so that’ll make for some fun experimentation with knitting needles and a lot of vodka and all the while, we’ll still have tasty, tasty water.
The thing is, whether or not this apocalyptic scenario will occur, and in a way I’m kinda up for it as I’ve read a lot of dystopian fiction and I know not to look in cellars, what we do know is that either this is a double bluff and last minute Boris will pull out May’s old deal just so everyone votes for that instead of a no deal, or he’s all out for this no deal and will plough straight into it because his financial backers and the donors of the Leave campaign have £8m in bets on a no deal crash out and can make a mint from it and watch all the riots on drone cams from their moon base maybe. Ok, we don’t really know that. But the fact the report is out, the fact that Johnson has lost every commons motion so far and the fact that whether or not what is happening is deemed illegal, law is intervening – all of that is reassuring. Though maybe what we really need is to encourage the government to engage in even more illegal activity until they end up on the run from the police and running abroad so we can get rid of them. Hey look, it’s a better and clearer plan than any of the parties have, so there.
And now back to Emily…
INTERVIEW WITH EMILY PART 2
Thanks so much to Emily for the chat and nice to have her back on the podcast. You can find Emily on Twitter @emilykenway and her website is at emilykenway.com. She has a book on modern slavery coming out next year which I’ll remind you about nearer the time. Links to all her recommendations will be up on the website soonish but do check out Focus on Labour Explotation aka FLEX, who are at labourexplotation.org and @focusonlabour on Twitter as they’re doing some great work on it all.
But this podcast is still hungry for guests like some sort of knowledge eating machine that must be fed for else it devour all of the written word like an audio version of the fire at the Library of Alexandria. Or more realistically, it’ll just end up with me talking shit like that for ages and you’ll all unsubscribe. So send in wants for subjects or people I should have a chat to and I’ll get on the case. Several of you have suggested excellent people and if they’ve not been on yet, its because they won’t reply to my emails that are probably swimming in their spam mail or their agents have printed off just so they could throw them into a bin. But I do keep chasing and the more you send in, the higher chance I’ll get at least one of them on. So drop me a line at the contact page on www.partlypoliticalbroadcast.co.uk, the @parpolbro Twitter, the Partly Political Broadcast facebook group or email me at email@example.com with the subject line letting me know whether or not you’ve lied to the Queen this week just so I know if I can trust your recommendations or not.
And that’s all for this week’s Partly Political Broadcast podcast. Thank you once again for listening while you stockpile eye rolls and tuts in time for Brexit. If you do enjoy the podcast please do spread the word like it’s a tasty spread only, er, made of letters. Not lettuce. A lettuce spread would be the actual dictionary definition of grim. Oh god, this has gone all over place. Maybe don’t mention this content when recommending the show? Thanks. Also please do review the show on whichever pod apps you use that have the option to review, or maybe sneak over to one you don’t use if yours doesn’t have the capabilities, like popping into the loos on the 3rd floor because they have an airblade and yours just has a sign saying ‘wave wet hands vigorously here’. If you have the means or the er, nices then please donate to the ko-fi or patreon and kindly keep me replete in needed coffee supplies.
Thanks every goddamn time to Acast, my brother the Last Skeptik for the musics and to Kat Day for the online notes.
This will be back next week when the Lib Dems have continued to absorb MPs at a faster and faster rate, like a political nucleus, until, eventually they merge as the Mega Centrist, stomping their way along just the middle of the road, not really causing all that much trouble and the army think about intervening but insist to everyone that it’s not worth it as they’ll probably just peter out by themselves.
This week’s show was sponsored by Tom Watson’s Choose Your Own Adventure But I’d Prefer It If I Could Choose It For You. 512 exciting possibilities that all end with ‘No, you’re wrong, start again.’ ‘On your left is a party policy as decided on democratically by members but on your right is an opportunity to promote yourself, which way do you turn?’ ‘Left’ NO! You never turn left, you idiot, you’ve failed start again. ‘Ok right’ No stupid, that would work for Tom but not for you as you’re anyone else but him. Better luck never. Tom Watson’s Choose Your Own Adventure But I’d Prefer It If I Could Choose It For You, out now for literally seconds of fun.