Episode 142 – It Means Whatever You Want It To Mean – Local elections, Gavin Williamson, Michael Marshall on Flat Earth Theorists

Released on Tuesday, May 7th, 2019.

Episode 142 – It Means Whatever You Want It To Mean – Local elections, Gavin Williamson, Michael Marshall on Flat Earth Theorists

THIS EPISODE IS TAGGED WITH: • Nigel Farage, parpolbro, Partly Political Broadcast, Patreon, Penny Mordaunt, podcast, political, politics, Rory Stewart, satire, The Green Party, Theresa May, Tiernan Douieb, UKIP

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast podcast, a lone audio flare sent up amongst the burning trash fire of politics, trying to warn others to stay away but knowing full well they’ll just think ‘oooh even more pretty lights’ and become consumed. This is episode 142, I’m Tiernan Douieb, that was a bit bleak wasn’t it? Yes, oops. I’m Tiernan Douieb and this week as Prime Minister and amalgamation of before images on a Volterol advert, Theresa May announces that the local election results show that voters want her to just get on and deliver Brexit, I have decided to follow that initiative and if you all stop listening to this show, start sending me hate mail about how awful it is and try to destroy the entire medium of podcasts because of it, that I’ll take that as an indication to carry on and make each episode at least 4 hours long.

How do you like to interpret your local elections? Did the result of a low turn-out localized vote that only took place in certain parts of the country absolutely state how everyone felt about the national issue of Brexit one way or the other? The answer, if you want it to, yes of course, because what else will you say online that makes it look like you’re not entirely dead inside desperate for something to digitally vomit out? How else will you will get back the public you’ve already lost if not through sheer blind confidence and stupidity? What else will you write an opinion piece on if there’s nothing else to have opinions one as everyone’s stopped caring? If you’re Theresa May then oh god, I’m so sorry it must be like peering out at the world through an iron maiden but also you’ll then look at the Conservatives losing 1351 seats and control of 45 councils and think, hmm, this is all just the British people’s way of saying I’m not going in hard enough. Like how if the police arrest you because you were in the park streaking while shouting ‘EVERYONE MUST DIE’ and running around punching children, then of course all those coppers who are restraining you and telling you you’ll go down for a long time, are really saying ‘next time, embrace it and do it all bigger.’ Sure. Why not? Believe in yourself as its clear absolutely no one else does. If lost 1351 seats then I’d know I was in immense trouble or at least I’d be fired from my job in IKEA. Arf.

Labour lost 307 seats which party leader and Womad mascot Jeremy Corbyn said meant that voters want a deal done on Brexit, and yes, of course that’s what they wanted you to realise Jezza. They said, we’re going to withdraw support from what your party is doing to show you we want you to sort things out quicker. When Debenhams went into administration recently, that was just because everyone loved it so much that they withheld all their money from it to show them. Hmmmmm.

Meanwhile ardently pro-remain parties the Lib Dems gained 676 seats which means, as Lib Dem leader and cauliflower with eyes Vince Cable said, that they are a major force, in the same way that community support officers are in that if there is absolutely no one else around and you’re in a crisis, I guess they’ll do. The Greens more than doubled their previous winnings with 185 gains which they put down to not only a remain sentiment but also environmental activists Extinction Rebellion highlighting climate change issues and yes, that makes sense as voting them in to councils could really change which recycling bins you have. And UKIP are 145 seats down on the 2015 local election which party leader and human entirely composed of things you find at the back of your fridge after you’ve been on holiday Gerard Batten hasn’t said anything about because he probably doesn’t understand it. He has however announced his resignation date because it’s impossible for him not to make a big deal about leaving things. Batten is of course actually stepping down in order to scare children on a ghost train in Minehead. Perhaps the most telling of all the results is that independent candidates gained 662 seats showing that either everyone is sick of all parties and want a more localized power system to cater for their needs, or that we all have someone on our street’s neighbourhood watch that if you’re clever and you vote them in during the locals, they’ll have less time on their hands to bother you about your hedge.

What we do know is that with early reports of voter turnout being only 34% and it only being 248 councils, using that as a template for the whole country is akin to visiting Switzerland and deciding everywhere else in the world is exactly like that. It’s not, I mean, why do you think they have voluntary euthanasia and no one else does? Personally I didn’t vote as there weren’t any elections where I live and I hope all the politicians understand that by not voting when I couldn’t that that is a clear message that crisps should be free for everyone and I’ll like them all to get off with Brexit, however they choose to interpret that. Actually, while I’m making light of not voting because I couldn’t, former Foreign Secretary and armadillo fighting its way out of a burlap sack, but in a suit, Boris Johnson tweeted that he’d just voted Conservative in the local elections despite there not being any in London. The tweet was deleted but it does make you wonder which school playground he’d just wondered into before pushing a teacher aside to mark a big X on the class register by anyone who had at least a double-barreled surname.

In the Northern Irish local elections, the Alliance party, a centrist group deemed neither unionist or nationalist but other, doubled their representation probably because more and more NI citizens have realized why have two arguing parties who can’t get along or form an assembly into your council when you could just have one? The DUP, aka the political party for people who want smiling banned from public places, had their first openly gay councilor, Alison Bennington, elected in Antrim and Newtonabbey. Though I worry she won’t put her heart into her seat as if she even remotely seems like she’s getting married to the job, her party will probably kick off about that sort of thing.

As voting closed on Thursday night it was revealed that the Prime Minister had fired Defence Secretary aka Isaac from Children Of The Corn Gavin Williamson after Number 10 stated that he was responsible for leaking details from a National Security Council meeting about the 5G deal with Huawei. You know, a company the government were warned against working with because there might be security issues. There’s a whole new verse for Alanis Morrisette right there. Williamson denies that he leaked the details because of course he’s at his most defensive once he’s left the job, and he has also said further rumours of him saying May’s type 1 diabetes made her unfit to be Prime Minister, or that he kept wanting to start wars abroad. Let’s be fair, type 1 diabetes isn’t what makes May unfit to be Prime Minister, in fact it’s probably the only ounce of sweetness she has in her being, but it’s not hard to believe that Williamson wanted to start unnecessary wars. I mean he once said that the British army must be prepared to use hard power, despite that sounding a lot like a gay dance group. The government have said they won’t press charges against Williamson, but who needs charges when you’re the only person in the May government who has been given the sack? I mean, fluke worm man Chris Grayling is still there, but you Gavin, you’ve gone. Now that’s hard power. Williamson is yet another example of the Conservatives picking the right candidates for the job. That’s now a Defense Secretary who leaked national secrets, a transport secretary who hires ferry firms with no ferries, a Foreign Secretary that doesn’t know where his own wife is from, a culture secretary that doesn’t read the papers, a Northern Ireland secretary that has no clue about Northern Irish history, an international trade secretary who is a twice disgraced MP who doesn’t know what WTO stands for, a Home Secretary that doesn’t understand citizenship rules, a justice secretary that fiddled expenses, a health secretary that doesn’t understand test results, a work and pensions secretary who lost her previous job through carelessness but wasn’t penalized, an environmental secretary that approved fracking, and a Prime Minister who’s definitely not. Well once May resigns at least she has prospects of hosting the next season of the Apprentice if Alan Sugar steps down.

Williamson has been replaced by Penny Mourdant, a woman who always looks like she’d park a 4×4 in the middle of the road then tell everyone who complained that it was their selfish fault for having cars that can’t squeeze round it. Mourdant is well known for making a speech in parliament about poultry welfare just so she could say cock a lot to win a Navy dare. I mean, as if you had to make up a speech to justifiably say ‘cock’ in parliament, just point round the room and say what you see. Anyway, I look forward to the UK getting nuked by a foreign power because some sailor bet her a fiver she couldn’t call their leader a shitbag during a speech to them about manure. Withered Ken Dodd Rory Stewart has taken Mourdant’s place as Secretary of State for International Development, which is great as during his time as minister for prisons, prisons saw a huge rise in violence, and it seems very responsible allowing him to try to do the same on a global stage.

In other also big news, parliament approved a motion to declare a climate emergency. There is no legal precedent for the government to act on a climate emergency or any set guidelines as to what has to happened once one’s been announced but hey, it’s nice that someone’s said it so now its official huh? Nothing’s going to save the planet like extra potential ‘well I warned you’ opportunities. The Climate Change Committee’s report has called for the UK’s carbon emissions to be net zero by 2050 but in the same week the High Court rejected a legal challenge against Heathrow’s third runway. So do the legal eagles know something we don’t? Will the 3^rd runway be purely for paper airplanes? Or people to run around making plane sounds with their arms outstretched? Again it feels like any parliamentary promises to do something are just adding to the dangerous emissions already released. Campaigners from Extinction Rebellion met Environmental Secretary and owner of a face made of giblets Michael Gove, where they said, and I quote, it was less shit than expected, but only mildly. I think that sums up Gove perfectly, like visiting a manure-based theme park and it still somehow managing to disappoint by not being enough.

Fiona ‘I’m driven but actually I’m not’ Onasanya has been removed from her seat in Peterborough following her conviction for perverting the course of justice and a subsequent recall petition by her constituency. Silly Fiona, she should’ve just betrayed the official secrets act and she’d still have her seat. There will now be a by-election on June 6^th where its reported that shit magic wand Jacob Rees Mogg’s sister and woman who always looks like she’s going to try and kidnap Paddington bear, Annunziata Rees Mogg will stand. Though I’m pretty sure that’s just because she thinks all the chairs there are too grubby and common for her to sit on.

Annunziata would be running for the Brexit Party, who are still in the lead for the polls for the upcoming EU elections because apparently the local elections showed the country wants to Remain, apparently. Party leader and misshapen testicle in a wig Nigel Farage has challenged Jeremy Corbyn to a televised debate, which is very much a trap for the Labour leader as if he refuses he’s seen as cowardly and if he does it then he’s legitimizing Farage. Personally I think it should happen as that would mean that it’d set a precedent for party leaders to debate frog faces from groups with no elected officials, and while that’d be shit for ages, eventually it’d lead to Theresa May vs Kermit. Worth it.

Former Brexit secretary and nostril Dominic Raab has stepped up his leadership bid backed by other former Brexit secretary and stuff that you find in the back of a washing machine but as a person David Davis. Yes, a man who was shit at his job thinks another man who was shit at his job would be great at being in charge of a lot of people who are shit at their jobs. Doesn’t Davis realise that Raab will likely back out of his own leadership bid at the last minute saying that he cannot in good conscience back it?

And lastly, pummeled turnip and fascist Tommy Robinson had milkshakes thrown at him on two consecutive days while campaigning for the EU elections in Warrington. Good. But who knew he was intolerant of dairy too?

ADMIN

Howdy ParPolBrods. Another short week, or as I think it should be called, a wk, or a wee. There are so many bank holidays this time of year, or as us self-employeds say, days when people are in our way. There were far too many people in the supermarket today for a Monday and that’s just rude. How would you like it if I turned up to do my shopping on a normal weekend sometime? Which I do so I’m being a hypocrite. Its just that maybe I would like it if whenever I wanted to go to the shops or the park or anywhere where other people might ruin it, they could all just clear out and get on with other stuff. I think the only ways I can make that happen are either becoming so famous and important that I have security types that do it, or the absolute reverse and just openly walk around with a shotgun. I can’t see either happening anytime soon and frankly, I’m probably better off just making irritated huffing noises as that lady with the hat stands in front of the margarines for over 5 goddamn minutes. HOW HARD IS IT TO CHOOSE? THEY WILL ALL CLOG YOUR ARTERIES IN PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WAY. Argh. And I’m not even angry today. I’ve just had a lovely weekend at Mach Comedy Fest, where I did my new work in progress show to some lovely people who were way too nice about all my jokes and have made me certain they’ll bomb elsewhere. That’s generally what happens at Machnylleth and I’ve wised up to it. I know they’re all overly nice there and I won’t fall for it again. Ha. We stayed in a very nice cottage in Corris Uchaf, which has been pointed out to me sounds like a Game of Thrones character, and the place was very child friendly apart from the cold hard stone floors which are the opposite of child friendly in every way. Every time we went home one of us would follow our daughter like an unwanted cumbersome and aged shadow screaming ‘NO!’ everytime it looked like she might smash her face in. So, all in all, a very lovely relaxing time. Its amazing how parenthood regularly makes the only benefit of going away for a few days the bit where you come back to your home with no pointy things anywhere.

Anyway, here you are, here this is and as I am wont to do every week, I thank you lots for having a listen to this show. This week I’d also like to give big thanks to Taz and Tessa for donating to the Ko-fi donations and to Tammy for the Patreon ones, all of which are very much appreciated and this week went towards coffee on the M54 which was disappointing but necessary. What’s with the coffee machines that don’t have any indication of where the cup should go underneath so that you essentially pay for some hot water and then a shot of coffee and milk to your trousers? To be fair, that did wake me up a lot. If you too would like to donate to this show, then please buy me a coffee at ko-fi.com/parpolbro or join the Patreon at patreon.com/parpolbro. If you can’t do that then please review the show and hey, on UK iTunes the podcast is now at 150 reviews! Fire the glitter cannons! Oh no now someone has to pick all of that up. Oh well. But thanks to those of you that helped do that. More are of course, always welcome, on whichever pod app that has reviews that you like. And if you don’t want to do that then a cheeky tweet or Instagram or just paying for a billboard with your words of support for this show across them on a major road will also suffice, but you know, nothing too over the top please.

Admin this week is short and sweet like my diabetic lifespan. I am on the It Dies Here podcast this week that should be out by the time you hear this. It’s hosted by the very funny and charming Akin Omobitan and is all about airing an incident that you regret. So I do and had much fun doing so, check it out if you’d like to find out what that was. Also the kids politics comedy show ‘How Does This Politics Thing Work Then?’ is at the Quarterhouse in Folkestone on the 25^th May at 11.30am and then at the Underbelly Festival on Southbank on the 30^th and 31^st of May. That’s only 800 odd seats that myself and Tatton at Simple Politics have to fill so if you fancy putting some of your and your children’s bums on those seats please do grab tickets at the relevant venue websites.

This week’s show its local elections a go-go. What happened and what didn’t happen and what did it mean, spoiler, that an election happened, the Conservatives got destroyed and beyond that, not as much as you might think. Plus, despite not thinking there would be an interview this week, there is! Hooray! And it’s with the brilliant Michael Marshall who’s been on this show before, many moons ago, talking to me about his investigations into Flat Earth theory and how that correlates with other radical groups and theorists that are permeating the political fold. And at no point will I be mentioning the royal baby, nope. I mean, how selfish of Meghan to give birth on a bank holiday so if that baby does end up doing something amazing like slaying a dragon or fighting the night king then no one will get any extra days off from it. Rude. Still, when I read the Duchess of Sussex was going into labour I was surprised, as I was certain she would be a Tory. Anyway, enough of that, let’s get cracking right into this:

INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL

I love the Flat Earth theory, I mean just imagine that the Earth is a disc floating through space, alongside other discs, until some giant alien overlord tries to play us like a mega CD causing our eventual destruction. I don’t think that’s anyone’s actual theory but it may as well be as flat earthers have a range of views as to how this planet actually is, as opposed to what we’re told. I mean how could it be round when we’re not bouncing all around the universe or being endlessly chased by a mega galactic dog? I’ve always liked the notion that Antartica is a cold rim around the ends of the planet and that NASA have people guarding it to stop anyone falling off the edge. When the world is on fire like it is right now, who wouldn’t want to believe that in-between taking photos of black holes and furthering humanities exploration of the stars, NASA have to keep sending unfortunate individuals to freeze their bums off watching penguins regularly plummet to their deaths? But as much as I may find it a fun imagination work out, flat earth theory has grown in popularity in this internet era of fake news as believers have been able to connect from, yes, all around the world. Why is that concerning on a political level? Well as this week’s guest points out, understanding how someone may ignore all science and reason to believe that we’re all skating around on a space frisbee helps to understand how people believe Trump when he said he’ll drain the swamp or Farage when he says people should be part of his fightback against the elites, despite his obvious eliteness and gobshitery, or Trump’s overall inherent swampy disposition.

I didn’t think there was going to be an interview on this week’s show and then I received a DM from former pod guest, expert truth seeker, investigator and skeptic Michael Marshall who said that he had been investigating flat earthers and would be interested in chatting to him about it for the show. Well yes, of course, as Michael, creator of BadPR, the good thinking society, and the Merseyside Skeptics Society always has a good, thoughtful and open minded approach the stories he chooses to look at, and as he pointed out to me, the popularity growth of Flat Earthers is about a lot more than just silly theories, but also online radicalization and disillusionment with society. Michael was last on this show back in episode 44 where we discussed how to deal with fake news and the need for critical thinking, and it’s always a bloody pleasure chatting to him. So I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Here’s Michael:

INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL PART 1

And we’ll be back with Michael in a minute but first:

LOCAL ELECTIONS UPDATE

What could be more exciting than a local election? Thousands, nay sorry, hundreds of people and the occasional dog, begrudgingly voting for their local council which won’t have any money regardless of who’s in charge, and waiting for the results to be very slowly counted by Vera from the chip shop who will probably take at least three days to do it because when you get into double digits it gets confusing. Yeah fun fun fun! Except this last lot of local elections last week have happened in amongst the endless civil bore that is Brexit, meaning that well, meaning is everywhere. Who votes for what doesn’t just mean they’ve voted for that what, but also the Brexit what that they or their party might stand for. In a nutshell the general read of last week’s results of the Conservatives doing so bad it’s an achievement, Labour really not doing as well as they should have, UKIP almost disappearing and remain parties like the Lib Dems and the Greens as well as independent candidates doing very well, is that it highlights a pro-Remain British public who are sick of Brexit. But is it that simple? Yes, BYE! Ha, no I’m kidding. Of course not. Nothing is simple anymore, well except for the seat in Northallerton South which was a dead heat and so decided by the returning officer choosing between two blank envelopes, each containing and candidates name and leading to a Labour win. Democracy 2019 ladies and gentlemen, where your councilor could’ve ended up being the film La La Land.

So did this local election show that the UK has changed its mind on Brexit? Well The Conservatives did particularly badly in their heartlands, yeah as if they have a heart, in the South, losing councils in Basildon, Southend-on-Sea, St Albans and Bath and North East Somerset. Word on the street, especially in areas like the latter, was that in middle class and student heavy areas, councilors were told on the street that they couldn’t be trusted anymore because of Brexit. I mean, really? Is that what it took? That’s like saying you were fine with Idi Amin until he started giving himself ludicrously long, overly grand self-titles. But that doesn’t say they’ve lost trust because they’re going ahead with Brexit, just Brexit overall. And they did badly in Leave voting areas too with seats in areas like Chelmsford, 52.8% leave, now going to the Lib Dems and Independents. So anti-Brexit or just anti-the Prime Minister endlessly trying to advocate a deal no one wants again and again meaning this election loss could well be a political repetitive strain injury.

Labour did badly too. Not as badly as the Conservatives despite some outlets suggesting that losing over 1300 seats is the same as losing 307, though I guess if they’re all minus numbers they are equally less than zero right? I have no clue about maths, I’m just hoping someone had a reason for typing such bollocks. Still with everyone turning against the Conservatives, what should have been happening in normal times was that everyone turned to the opposition instead, but they didn’t, they just sort of kept turning like on a very dreary wheel of fortune and opted for the other prizes. Labour lost seats in both strong Leave areas and strong remain areas showing that maybe their sitting on the fence stance is mostly giving them bum splinters and not much else.

But the Lib Dems, who are adamantly remain, did very well right? Well yeah but then they did really badly in the 2015 elections after the whole coalition fracas and so, when both main parties are rejected, they’re a natural go to. Like that friend you call when all your other friends are being dicks but only when you’re hanging out do you think, oh wait, I would have been happier by myself. Lib Dems have always been known for their skills at local level, but whether or not this would translate to a national one remains to be seen, but it does look like an overall comeback of them being a party rather than just an afterthought when you realise there were some other people in the commons but you couldn’t remember where you’d seen them before. Yes, its likely their remain stance helped in some areas, but they mostly did best where they were the local opposition, particularly when they were second to the Conservatives where they gained 15 points on average in such areas, leading to a lot of seats and councils. Basically, everyone else being shit, looks like it’s helped out old Vinny Cable and chucked some life back into the party that previously looked like it was about to be turned off.

The real interesting one is the Greens that did well all over the place from very middle class to working class areas, Remain and Leave voting ones, which the party have put down mostly to the highlighting of the climate emergency and Extinction Rebellion’s protests over the Easter. If the main parties hadn’t been popping up on telly to get all sad about a few transport delays and had instead confidentially said they’d save the planet it might’ve saved them some votes. Though knowing Theresa May, she’d have done very little except get her hair done in dreadlocks, before trying to dance to We Are the World, We Are The Children, leading to an even bigger defeat than before. Independent candidates gained lots too, now holding 1199 seats across 248 councils which is a lot, but they all have a variety of stances on Brexit and more than anything, campaign on local issues so voting for them is probably a retaliation against big party politics overall and the fact the Conservatives keep bleeding local government dry and expect councils to fund everything using council tax, and by selling off everything they have so they can have stuff. Oh and UKIP did badly but still have 31 seats across England because it turns out, some people really do hate the areas they live in that much.

So, was this all another say on Brexit? Is the UK all Remainy now or hard Leave? Nope. There are 408 councils in the UK, and only 248 were voted on last week and by, this isn’t yet official, supposedly only 34% turnout overall. Seats were lost by Labour and the Tories to both Remain and Leave candidates in different areas and it’s also worth noting that Change UK and The Brexit Party aka 2UKIP the Return, weren’t running. While the former probably wouldn’t have made any difference as if they can’t even work out their own name, how will voters? But the latter may well have soaked up the pro-Leave votes and brought voters out who would have abstained otherwise as they live and breathe Brexit and as a result probably have respiration problems. What it does show is that people ain’t happy with the big guns no more, that May has successfully united the country in everyone thinking she’s total shit and that rumours of a compromise between Labour and the Conservatives on a deal probably won’t help either of them in the future, if anything, it’ll probably make things even worse for Labour. Should Labour then back a second referendum? No idea. But look, feel free to make things up based on what makes you feel better. You want that result to mean the country is now all for Remain? Go for it. That it means the government should get on with being shit just even shitter? Yeah go nuts. That actually everyone was just voting because what about the bins? Fine, have that head party. That secretly it was all a big vote to say what they really want is for plastic beer cups to not be shit, everyone to get a pet wombat and for £1 coins to be made of waffles? Also that. Fact is, in three weeks it’ll be the EU elections and we’ll all get to have another go at guessing anyway. In the meantime let’s all rejoice in the Conservatives losing more seats than a kid playing musical chairs against David Copperfield and let’s let Labour think about what on earth they’re doing and the Lib Dems enjoy being popular again for at least 5 minutes until Cable steps down and they replace him with a roll of beige shag carpet and everyone forgets who they are again.

And now back to Michael…

INTERVIEW WITH MICHAEL PART 2

Thanks tons to Michael for that unexpected and thoroughly fascinating chat. You can of course find Michael at @MrMMarsh, his blog is at badpr.co.uk and you can check out live events and podcasts that he’s involved in at merseysideskeptiks.org.uk which is having it’s 10^th anniversary this year with a special one day conference in Liverpool on 6^th July which sounds brilliant. And Michael also works with the Goodthinkingsociety.org which teaches critical thinking to school children and if you’re a teacher it’s well worth checking out. Lastly Michael also does a podcast called Be Reasonable where he interviews people who often believe in outlandish conspiracy theories, recently he’s had someone who thinks Stanley Kubrick was involved in faking the moon landings. I find them hard to listen to because Michael is so calm and I mainly want to shout at them, but do check it out. I’ll pop a link in the podcast blurb.

Also, as I mentioned before, if you have extra time on your hands, or rather ears. I mean, I assume you don’t need your hands to listen to this show do you? Maybe to hold your ear horn in? Well if you do have spare ear time, head all the way back to Episode 44 where Michael first guested on this show and talked all about what to do with fake news and critical thinking, which is all sadly still relevant today. Boooo to the world, yey for Michael.

I think I’ve got the next three weeks of guests all lined up but it’s always handy to have some in the back pocket, ready for future weeks, and, its embarrassing to say, but it’d be great to get more BAME guests as this year’s stock of chats has been very white indeed, so any recommendations on that front would be brilliant. Let me know who to talk to, what to talk to them about, and what hat I should be wearing while I do it. What do you mean you don’t know about interview hats? I’m currently donning a pith helmet for maximum pithy effect. You can tell me about all those things by dropping me a line @parpolbro on Twitter, the Partly Political Broadcast facebook group that I keep forgetting to use, the contact page on partlypoliticalbroadcast.co.uk or email me at partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com. Or you could style a hat and name it after your preferred guest and then once I don it, I’ll both know who and how to chat to that specific person. Oh, today I will have to interview, erm, Jeremy Stetson. No wait, that’s the wrong hat isn’t it? Ok, maybe, er…Susan Trilby…no wait, sorry. Fez Stevens? Oh this is hard. Nigel Forage Cap? No, I’m not interviewing him, urgh. Ok, look, it’s probably, as always, much easier to email.

END

And that’s all for this week’s Partly Political Broadcast podcast. Cheers to your ears for having a go, and if you enjoy this show then please do donate to the ko-fi or patreon sites, review the show on your pod app of use and tell everyone you’ve ever known, alive or dead, to give it a listen. I’m fairly certain you can get it on the other side iWoooones. Or Podboooon. Ok I’ll stop. If you don’t enjoy the show because of bits like that then rather than say that to people why not spend today trying to fight a brick wall? Thanks.

Thanks as always to Acast for hosting this show amongst its cavalcade of sound treats, my brother The Last Skeptik for all the music and it’s his birthday this week so do go buy his albums online, go on, do that, and to Kat Day for typing up all the linear liner notes that you can look up at partlypoliticalbroadcast.co.uk.

This will be back next week when Theresa May announces that Baphomet’s humongous form appearing above Westminster, and booming down that she’s failed humanity and that she’s shit and she knows she is before smiting a few special advisors, is affirmation that May needs to stay in her job as PM for at least another ten years to carry on her good work.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This week’s show is sponsored by SecuriGav, the sure fire way to make sure you or your companies secrets won’t get leaked out by any foreign agency, because our defence expert Gavin Williamson will use all his hard power to leak them out himself first. Worried about China, Russia or them sneaky Luxembourgians stealing your blue prints to your new secret war device? Well worry no more as happy go lucky Gavin will take a break from pulling legs off insects to feed to his pet tarantula, in order to give all your blue prints to the press before you’ve finished handing them over. That way everyone at home will have a fancy war device before China’s had a chance. SecuriGav, defence so bad its offensive.