Episode 55

Released on Tuesday, April 11th, 2017.

Episode 55

Episode 55 – This Easter episode of the podcast contains no mentions of Easter whatsoever, Tiernan speaks to Alison Garnham from Child Action Poverty Group (@cpaguk ), EASTER, there is a look at the current situation in Syria, EASTER, and more Brexit. EASTER.

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Further Reading


Transcript

Ep55

Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast episode 55! I’m Tiernan Douieb and sadly there is no mention of Easter in this week’s show despite me generally being a good egg, this podcast being constantly full of yolks and my wholehearted belief that Easter weekend was the first recorded incidence of a zombie outbreak. If you have any complaints about the lack of mentioning of Easter in this week’s Easter podcast, please complain to eastermentions@easter.easter.

Yes last week started with the Prime Minister and barely conscious synth Theresa May and Labour leader and Old Man Marley stand-in Jeremy Corbyn both made statements condemning the National Trust for running an Easter egg hunt that didn’t say the word Easter in it even though all it’s marketing said Easter on it. This was started by the Archbishop Of York, a man who ardently believes in something no one has proof of existence yet can’t see things that are actually there. The National Trust renamed their Easter Egg Trail which they run in conjunction with Cadbury’s, as the Great British Egg Hunt which is an obvious error because you’re only allowed to stick the word Great on badly planned Brexit policies in order to distract people from how vacant of ideas they are. May said that this was ridiculous and that Easter is very important because let’s face it, by April everyone’s knackered and needs a few days off. Sorry Jesus who? She did this from Saudi Arabia, a country that sentences people to death for converting to Christianity, though on the plus side as a result of that they probably at least just eat their chocolate eggs without any concern for what’s written on them. Corbyn said that Cadbury’s shouldn’t take over the name of Easter because as we all know the chocolate company are currently trying to rename the South pacific country Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Island. Then to make it all worse, Liberal Democrat leader and pop vinyl of a real politician Tim Farron made a load of bad egg puns to say what a waste of time all this was. He was indeed right, as it wasn’t a real story, actual news was happening elsewhere and no one seemed to pay attention to how The Archbishop of York who brought up the story does many adverts for the Real Easter Egg Company who give a little picture of Jesus and the Easter story with their chocolate eggs because nothing makes chocolate more tasty than reading about how a man was killed for his beliefs then terrifyingly came back from the dead and now they’ve got a lot of free promotion out of this.

Meanwhile in the real world, US President and Teratoma in a suit Donald Trump decided to launch airstrikes on Syria in a situation that very much feels like calling in Godzilla to help because King Kong is destroying the city. It was in retaliation to a horrific chemical weapons attack on Syrian people from Assad’s regime that killed many. Trump said the images of ‘beautiful babies’ killed by toxic gas prompted him to act but obviously not act enough to stop trying to implement travel bans to allow any of those beautiful babies to escape and seek refuge in America. You almost wonder if Trump only wants to save Syrian lives so he isn’t denied the kick he gets out of seeing their disappointed faces when they get detained at US airports. The UK have blamed Russia for the chemical attacks and cancelled a Moscow visit from Foreign Secretary and star of 1992 film Beethoven Boris Johnson and are planning harsh sanctions against Putin. Russia have responded to this and further Trump plans for more airstrikes by saying if they’re given an ultimatum to remove their troops from Syria it’ll result in a ‘real war’ prompting many Syrians to wonder what on Earth they’ve been enduring for 6 fucking years. So it does feel like something is brewing and sadly it’s much less a cup of tea and more a big ol’ mug of war and what is that good for apart from some slightly better approval ratings for the orange wrecking ball that is Trump.

Theresa May met with the Saudi Crown Prince without wearing a headscarf and therefore disobeying strict Saudi Arabian rules on female dress. May said she wanted to be a role model to Saudi women because there’s nothing more inspirational than showing that women can have as much disregard for human rights as men do if it means better arms deals. Disgraced Liam Disgrace Fox the Disgrace met with the controversial President of the Philippine’s Rodrigo Duterte and said they have shared values. Duterte’s war on drugs has killed 7000 people so I’m assuming Liam Fox meant they have shared values because it’s clear neither of them have their own ones to abide by.

Oh and Ken Livingstone has been suspended for another year after still being unable to do a TV interview without mentioning Hitler, as though it was some sort of awful bet as part of a very zero sum game. 229 Labour MPs have signed an open letter saying the decision not to expel him is against the party values, and 107 MPs and 48 Labour peers signed a Jewish Labour Movement statement criticising the suspension only being a year too. I can only assume Labour are planning some sort of vote winning scheme involving Ken winning Mastermind with his very specific sort of specialist subject.

So hello podchamps, thanks again for listening to my weekly shoutings. Now if you’re regular listeners you may have already noticed something different on this week’s show. If you’re not a regular listener you may not have noticed it at all and if you’re not a listener then you smell and I can say that as you’ll never know. Ha! I win! Anyway, by the time this gets to your ears there may be an advert or two popped into the mix as I’m pleased to say FANFARE PLEASE Partly Political Podcast has joined the podcast platform Acast, home of some of my favourite listens including Adam Buxton’s podcast and Scroobius Pip’s excellent Distraction Pieces. Anyway, what they do is get this show out to a lot more people, and in return stick a few ads on here which I then hopefully become a billionaire from then drastically change all my weekly content so it’s all pro tax avoidance and yes yes neoliberalism and….no no don’t worry. Very little will change at all. Acast are a nicely ethical bunch, they don’t do adverts for any evil types and if you do spot something being advertised on here that I’m opposed to like say BAE systems new onesi with pockets for all your missiles or George Osborne’s guide to having six jobs and failing at all of them, then do let me know and I shall have words. What it hopefully does mean is that I will occasionally earn a wee bit of cash from this which I can use to buy better recording things and make this show all a bit sharper for you. Of course this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still chuck money to the Patreon if you can as FANFARE PLEASE I’ve finally added a video to patreon.com/parpolbro which I’m hella proud of and WARNING slash incentive to watch does include a partially naked me at one point. I’ve also added a few new bonus items for donators with more to come. Also thanks to Martin who donated to the ko-fi page last week at ko-fi.com/parpolbro and while this is a free podcast and will remain so, any you can chuck my way either as a one-off donation via the ko-fi or regular donation via Patreon really does help buy supplies for my illegal zebra meat wagon racket, erm sorry, I mean help me spend more time improving this show. And if you don’t fancy donating why not give the show a review on iTunes, Stichter or even on LinkedIn just to surprise anyone that ever bothers to look at it. I log on about once a year to find a ton of people have congratulated me for my anniversary of working at Tiernan Douieb incorporated. Idiots. So yep, please do a review. Thank you. Ooh boo bi doo.

In other news I don’t have a sore throat anymore HOOORAY! But instead I do have hayfever BOOOOOOO so you’ll be pleased to know I’ve edited all the sneezes caused by plant spunk that I did during this show HOOORAAAYY but instead I’ve put them altogether into a soundbite for you here BOOOOOOO:

SNEEZE MONTAGE

I don’t know who the high pollen count is but when I find the castle he lives in, I’m going to have some words. Preferably rude ones. Also do you remember Simple Politics? The brilliant website I keep banging on about on this show because they help clearly explain UK politics and Tatton Spiller from the site has been a guest on here explaining Brexit. Yeah? Well this week they are running a free academy on politics that you can sign up to by emailing academy@simplepolitics.co.uk. They then send you details on how to find out what each day focuses on and you’ll have missed Monday’s which was on socialism, liberalism and neo liberalism but you should be able to go back and have a look at some of the interesting chats and explanations that occurred on the academy whatsapp group as a result. I’d highly recommend for some thoughtful and educational chat. You know, the stuff that used to happen before 2016.

Lastly I’ve got two previews of my new Edinburgh show coming up at the All Day Edinburgh Preview festival at the Good Ship in Kilburn on April 23rd. I’m on at 4.30pm but there are loads of other great acts on throughout the day starting at 1pm all the way till 11pm. Tickets are free and you can grab one at tickettext.co.uk. Then I’m at the ever wonderful Machnylleth Comedy Festival in deepest Wales on April 29th at 12.30, which yes is early but its so I can spend time drinking local brews afterwards and debating whether or not to buy an antique barrel. You can grab a ticket for that at machcomedyfest.co.uk. Hopefully see you there.

Right on this week’s show I’m speaking to Alison Garnham at Child Poverty Action Group about the effects the new benefit cuts will have on child poverty levels, I’ll be looking at the Syria mess and there is of course a wee bit of Brexit. So yeah, all prime comedy subjects. BIG SIGH. I went to see Charlie Brooker do a masterclass in writing at the BFI last night and he said that while satire does help you feel sane when everything’s going wrong it probably does also scratch an itch that shouldn’t be scratched as makes people laugh rather than engage in civil protest. So on the plus side if this week’s show on child poverty, impending war and the collapse of the UK doesn’t make you laugh then at least we could all be engaging in a French revolution style overthrow of Parliament by Wednesday eh? Either way, before all of that, there is of course, this….

Headlines

Gender Pay Gap

New rules have come in since April 5th that mean all UK companies with more than 250 employees must publish data on their gender pay gaps. The UK Gender Pay Gap is currently 18.1% for all workers or 9.4% for full time staff but you know men need that extra cash for all the energy they expend typing tweets to women that start ‘actually I think you’ll find…’ and because mansplaining everything is like a job within itself right? The UK ranks 20th on the World Economic Forum Gender Pay Gap report and so motions like this one, are a small progressive step, although all companies are asked to do is present data, not actually do anything about it. So at the moment big companies are just publishing data, probably making female staff do it and see how little they’re earning compared to their male equivalent for the same work and then leaving it at that which almost feels like rubbing it in. The government have urged, although it’s not compulsory, for companies to also publish an action plan of how they’ll reduce the gap which they can then ignore because urgh the womens with all their but I do as much work as you why do I get paid less blah blah blah. I wonder why the government didn’t go further and introduce a bill like Iceland are trying to introduce where firms have to prove they offer equal pay to employees or they get fined which is the ‘sort it out now’ to the UK’s ‘erm I think you have a equality problem oh ok don’t worry about it bye’. While the Women’s Equality Party have said that this law can be used to address unconscious bias within a company, critics have pointed out this doesn’t address a lack of women in top roles nor does it address what is essentially a motherhood pay gap where women take maternity leave and return to part time work which could be fixed by more paternity leave or shared leave between parents or by making work compulsory for babies. Ok that last one seems harsh but I’ve seen the trailers for Boss Baby so it’s totally doable. Then again it is a male baby. Oh god this problem is everywhere. So while more needs to be done, especially as if Deloitte have predicted, the gender pay gap will continue until 2069 if we continue as we are. Still on the plus side at least all those men who are certain there isn’t a gender pay gap so wonder why we need this rule at all, can either boringly say told you so to every women when companies prove there isn’t, or far more likely shut up when it’s proved there is and then maybe when their bosses realise they’ve spent all day telling women online why it exists they’ll have their pay docked thus fixing the gender pay gap, albeit in very much the wrong way.

While tip toing towards equality progression on the one hand, the government are very much using the other hand to wave a massive middle finger at it. Dubbed the rape clause, the HMRC and Department of Work and Pensions who spend most of their working week who I’m now certain are an office full of tin men trying to find the wizard of oz to ask for a heart, they have revealed an 8 page document that women will have to fill out to receive tax credits if they have conceived a third child through non consensual conception. The two child policy which I discuss with this week’s interviewee stops tax credits for families with more than two children, but has an exemption for a child conceived through rape but it means that civil servants now have to assess whether it’s a valid case. It asks such sensitive caring questions as to whether or not the claimant’s circumstances as described by them are consistent with a number of statements about non-consensual conception and control or coercion. It couldn’t be any less sensitive and cold blooded unless it asked what they were wearing and if perhaps they should drink less. A number of psychologists have written an open letter to the government against the clause saying it could cause psychological trauma and harm to rape victims. The law was put through as a statutory instrument so didn’t have to pass through parliament and now several MPs including SNP Alison Thewliss are trying to push for an urgent question in parliament about it. A government spokesperson has responded by saying their ‘benefit changes will be delivered in the most compassionate way’. Ha! Why do I get the feeling that all that means that when your 8 page document is rejected because they don’t believe you’ve provided enough evidence to support your claim, that they’ll do it with sad puppy eyes and an awkward ‘sorry’? I think compassionate conservatism can again join the ranks of other ironic terms such as ‘living wage’ and ‘affordable housing’. I mean one the plus side once you read all Conservative slogans in this way you feel more prepared for the future. For example ‘we have the chance to shape a brighter future for Britain’ really means you’d better go buy a ton of candles to get through what will clearly be a modern day dark ages. Give it a try!

Everyone’s least favourite Health Secretary and cheese string with a face Jeremy Hunt has scrapped NHS 18 week waiting list targets. I bet if he played football he’d move the goal posts to encompass the entire world so if a ball ever went in the net he’d scream it was a success. I wish I could do that. There has been no public consolation on the scrapping of this target or parliamentary approval and so Shadow Health Secretary Jon Ashworth has accused Hunt of breaking the law as it breaches the NHS Commissioning Board and Clinical Commissioning Groups Regulations 2012. Something that Hunt has probably never read and is probably using it as a prop for his office putting set. Sorry, but I’ve scrapped the deadline target for me to pay my tax this year. No no, I’ve not checked that with anyone, it’ll be fine yeah? NHS England has said it was made clear that the targets do still remain in place to attain by 2020, but it was loosened just for the next year, presumably because if enough people aren’t seen for medical issues for 12 months there’s every chance they won’t around by 2020 thus making the 18 week waiting time a lot more attainable due to a greatly reduced list of patients.

INTERVIEW

Ah April. Flowers bloom and fire pollen into people like me with allergies, animals that you aren’t that bothered about give birth to tiny cuter versions of themselves who you care about for a month and then eat them a month later, and no one really knows what jacket to wear because whatever you choose, it’s never quite right for the weather. Oh and it’s that wonderful time of year when the Conservative government like to start all their favourite policies to make your life worse because nothing buffers the impact of benefits cuts like sunshine then suddenly rain then really hot sunshine then oh god how is it raining again and now it’s cold? On April 6th the two child policy cutting tax credits to families with more than two children came in, as well as the cuts to bereavement benefits because why cry over the death of a loved one when you can worry about having enough for you and your child to eat instead? It’s like the government’s version of relieving the pain of banging your toe by cutting off your face. People off sick from work will lose £30 a week on employment and support allowance, and low income couples who have children now will lose the family element in tax credits. The biggest effect of all this is that the Institute of Fiscal Studies expects child poverty to increase by 50% and with around 100,000 children already in poverty 2015-16, that’s quite the increase. Now I’m sure you’re listening to this thinking ‘lazy children! Why don’t they go back to sweeping chimneys and putting their tiny hands into terrifying industrial machines like in the good ol’ days instead of expecting to eat decently, learn things and grow up to benefit society eh? Bloody scroungers!’ Or hopefully, you’re actually thinking, wow, this is shit, kids are brilliant because they are like tiny versions of people who need looking after so what can we do? Labour this week proposed a VAT tax on private schools to provide free meals for all primary school children, which would help a lot of families provide their kids with one healthy meal per day. When asked if this was a good idea Theresa May dodged the question as in a neoliberal society she probably believes unless state school children have ‘Easter’ scrawled across their face they should have to fight for their food with only one child surviving and thus being allowed a sandwich.

This week I spoke to Alison Garnham at Child Poverty Action Group who explained to me what child poverty means, what the effects are and exactly how to tackle it, though it’s not easy. Oh and during this interview I had a brain lapse and completely forgot the two child policy was called the two child policy and called it a manner of completely incorrect things. So enjoy that.

Here’s Alison:

CPAG INTERVIEW PART ONE

We’ll be back with Alison in a minute, but first….

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS

Syria! And yes, I’m aware that that jingle perhaps isn’t the best jingle for a subject as serious as Syria, but trust me, it’s ten times better than the version I deleted that involved me singing Syria to the West Side Story song ‘Maria’. Think yourself lucky. If you remember back in episode 34 I interviewed Dr Marcus Papadopolous who, er, how to put it lightly, had the view that Russia were pretty much the saviours of Syria despite the fact they’d killed more civilians than ISIS & Coalition forces put together. Now I wouldn’t recommend you go back to that interview unless you really like hearing opinions you might not hear on television or well, anywhere except on Russia Today, but on that episode I did, for balance, a background on why Syria is where it is. So if you haven’t heard that, skip all the bits where I naively panic realising I’m talking to a pro-Putin man shouting at me, oh god it was stressful, and head straight for that informative middle bit. And as it’s such a big concerning situation, I thought this week we needed a catch up. Not with Marcus thankfully, but on the situation itself.

If you remember the story so far is the rebels are fighting Assad and his forces because he’s made life shit for Syrians. Assad is fighting the rebels because he thinks he is the legitimate leader of Syria. The rebels and Assad are fighting ISIS because no one likes ISIS probably not even their mums. The UK and US started helping the rebels but stopped short of actually helping them against Assad instead aiming to help them against ISIS first. Russia is helping Assad fight everyone. The US and UK and Russia were trying not to fight each other though because that’s how big wars involving white people and nuclear weapons start and no one wants that to happen. And in the middle of it all are civilians who try to escape the country only to find no one wants to take them in because it’s only ok to empathise with people in shitty situations if you don’t have to actually do anything about it. But I can’t believe that Easter egg hunt didn’t have easter written on it except where it did, right?

So fast forward to last week where over 80 people were killed in a horrific chemical attack in Khan Sheikhoun in North West Syria. While it’s not been 100% confirmed what killed them, the symptoms are those consistent with a reaction to Sarin a nerve gas that is really nasty and that’s an understatement akin to saying Piers Morgan is a bit of a twat. One report says of the 89 people who died, 33 were children, 18 were women and very few, if any, were rebel fighters or al-Qaeda linked jihadists that control the area. Now the Syrian government has denied they dropped the chemicals, although they did also deny several other awful similar chemical attacks in 2014 and 2015 which the Organisation of Prohibition of Chemical Weapons said in 2016 definitely was them. Russia say it was a Syrian Army plane that flew over the area but it dropped bombs on chemicals the rebels had, releasing them which only makes sense if you ignore that the chemicals they are likely to be would’ve incinerated immediately. Baring in mind that Assad is the man who ordered his army to fire on civilians because they were protesting that he wasn’t dealing with the collapse of the Syrian agricultural system and city overcrowding, it’s not exactly out of his ballpark to be that sort of evil arsehole. And would you believe it that now, this is where it gets complicated?

As a result of this attack US President Donald Trump waded into the situation like a bull wades into a china shop to have a browse for tea set. Of course with every decision he makes there is a tweet from a few years ago proving he was previously against it as Trump is a man with either a goldfish memory or a sense of conviction weaker than Harrison Ford’s flying abilities. Apparently all those times he said Obama should stay out of Syria he said because he wasn’t president at the time, according to his deputy assistant. I plan to use that as my excuse for everything I say that I contradict years later. What? I said kettle chips camembert flavour tasted like a dog had been sick into a colostomy bag and now here I am eating a packet? Well I wasn’t president when I said that was I? Soooo…. Now Trump says he ordered an airstrike on a Syrian airstrip because he was prompted by the deaths of those beautiful babies, calling those who died the children of god. These are the same people he’s previously said ‘might be ISIS’ though I suppose he didn’t state which god they are children of so perhaps he’s just converted which while unlikely, with Trump, is also entirely likely. But is actually unlikely. They did send a warning that they’d be bombing the airstrip, giving particularly Russians time to get out and losing the airstrip itself probably isn’t all that big a deal to Assad especially as reports say very few of the missiles actually hit their targets, a perfect analogy for all of Trump’s policies so far. But what it did do was show Trump is an enemy of Assad which might mean he’s an enemy of Russia even though he’s highly likely a friend of Russia, and it means the press backed him even though he’s not really done anything except cause more destruction in an area full of destruction and you almost wonder if Trump would be better for the Syrian Civil War if he offered his services to Assad as that way he’ll probably collapse the entire system from within and make everyone bankrupt.

Russia have now suspended their agreement with the US to prevent direct conflict between their airforces and Putin has condemned Trump’s strikes saying they broke international law. You know, a lot like that chemical attack did. Yes, it turns out, everyones the bad guys! The UK back the US because there’s no way we want to risk losing out on repeats of Friends and defence secretary Michael Fallon said Russia was to blame for the chemical attacks and now says Assad can’t be a leader for Syria when he is using chemicals to kill his own people. Especially when it looks likely some of those chemicals were sold to Assad’s father in the 80’s by the UK because it turns out again, everyone’s the bad guys! Labour say Trump should’ve waited for UN backing but otherwise agree that Assad should no longer be leader of Syria. Foreign Secretary and the man for whom the waaaa waaaa waaa trumpet noise was invented Boris Johnson cancelled his trip to Moscow, which was the first by a UK foreign secretary in five years and was originally planned because the UK were hoping to improve relations in Russia. Russia now say those talks are at a dead end due to the cancelled visit, not realising that actually telling Boris he can’t visit is far kinder and more of a cooperative gesture from the UK than letting him turn up and say something offensive. Now instead US Secretary of State and good friend of Putin’s Rex Tillerson is going to Moscow where he’ll sit with Putin and work out the best way to pretend they aren’t friends even though they are while bombing things until Americans like Trump again. The UK are aiming to push for greater sanctions against Putin at the G7 meeting unless he cuts ties with Assad which he won’t do. The US have warned Assad against further chemical attacks. Iran have picked sides and joined in the party by saying with Russia that they would respond with force if their own ‘red lines’ were crossed in Syria which is awkward as I don’t think there are any red lines in Syria as it’s above the equator, unless Indiana Jones flew over in his plane at one point? And the Russian Embassy in London said if Moscow was given an ultimatum to take its forces out of Syria it would result in a ‘real war’ because up until now it’s just been a bit of a giggle and pretend one in Syria eh? I suppose on the plus side a real war would mean there were refugees anywhere and then no one can complain about taking any in when they too are running away from war. So to say things are heating up is the sort of understatement akin to saying Piers Morgan is a total shit rag but while some people have said Assad is evil and other have said Trump is evil or Putin is evil or the UK are being idiots, it’s important to remember they are all awful and this whole situation is terrible and in amongst this whole international conflict, everyone’s forgotten about ISIS who are also shits and really the only way to fix this would be if they air dropped in Kim Jong Un, Robert Mugabe, President Erdogan, Marine Le Pen, Nigel Farage, Katie Hopkins, Piers Morgan and Theresa May and let them all fight each other with pugil sticks while we let thousands of refugees seek shelter at our house behind their backs. I almost wonder why they don’t let me sort this sort of stuff out. What do you mean it’s because I belittled a horrifically serious conflict with a John McEnroe jingle and a piss poor gladiators solution?

And on that hopfully not a bombshell, now back to Alison….

CPAG INTERVIEW PART 2

Big thanks to Alison for talking with me. You can find more info and sign up to become a member of CPAG at www.cpag.org.uk and they are on Twitter @cpaguk or facebook.com/cpaguk. If you don’t want to or can’t afford to become a member, you can also join their network of campaigners which you can find via the ‘how to help’ section on their site.

As always if there’s anyone you’d like me to interview or any subject in particular you’d like me to interview someone on, do drop me a line @parpolbro on Twitter, the parpolbro group on Facebook, partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com or by whistling your message into a jar, sealing it shut and giving it to your postman or postwoman. They’ll know what it means, they’ve been briefed.

BREXIT

Incase you were too busy screaming at things that had Easter written on them that they didn’t have Easter written on them, then I’m here to remind you that Brexit is still happening! HOORAY! No I said ‘Brexit is still happening’. BOOOOO. Yes and not only that but it’s really not happening how Theresa May said it would be although considering she never really said how it would be that’s not much of a surprise. But what she did say was that by the end of the two year Article 50 process that we’d have a deal and now, it turns out, she’s said that actually that is definitely not what we’ll have. Remember the whole ‘no deal is better than a bad deal’. It turned out she said that because we will have no deal and in a way that is better than whatever the sort of bad deal was that also included no deal but maybe also a kick in the teeth everytime you visit France. It looks like the UK will gain third country status which sounds a like it’ll go with our post-Brexit third world status too, but what it actually means is that we’ll be hanging out with Norway, Iceland, Switzerland and Liechenstein which yes, I always forget is a country too. I mean where is it? Have a guess. Nope. Not there. Or there. In fact I’m pretty sure it’s not there either. But they sing their national anthem to the tune of God Save The Queen so we can all hang out and be boring and irrelevant together. But I hear you cry, those countries are all in the EEA and therefore have access to the single market and freedom of movement but with restrictions and no say in how the EU is run and have to pay to be in the EU and therefore have a pretty shitty system compared with what the UK had when it was in the EU. I KNOW! WHAT ARE THE CHANCES? That is until whatever it is that May actually wants is actually sorted out and what she does want is a good trade relationship that enables firms to have free access to the single market, which the EU Council document last week said can’t happen. And May also wants to continue trade arrangements with countries that we previously had with them through the EU. Which the EU Council document also said can’t happen. So it’s very possible that by the day we leave on 2019 much will be very much the same unless the EU says otherwise so less taking back control more giving the remote control to someone else who only lets you watch TV when they come round and turn it on the channel they like. Imagine that. Going from full channel access to just all day Homes Under The Hammer with no ability to turn over. Grim.

Meanwhile the idea of a truly global Britain appears to be on where Theresa May makes trips to Saudi Arabia to sell them fighter jets to use in the Yemen contravening all human rights codes, which is similar to her trip to Turkey earlier this year to sell fighter jets to Erdogan which is a lot like giving a burning stick to a child who’s explicitly screaming about how they’ll set fire to the house. Meanwhile in the last six months Liam Fox has visited Oman, Bahrain, UAE and Kuwait despite all their breaches of human rights conventions and this past week was hanging out with Robert Duterte in the Philipenes a man who’s known as the Punisher and not because he’s a big fan of silly wordplay gags. No this is a man who as mayor of Davao city personally killed criminals including throwing one from a helicopter, wants to bring the age of criminal responsibility down to nine, wants to bring back the death penalty, called the UN stupid and said Barack Obama was the son of a whore. And Liam Fox said they have a lot in common which is presumably because people all over the rest of the world think they’re both a total disgrace to their respective countries.

So yes a truly global Britain in the same way bird flu was a truly global pandemic. You know, it was everywhere but it only seemed to be causing trouble wherever it went. On the plus side at least bird flu only really affected poultry where as our foul play will go everywhere. WHO’S THE PUNISHER NOW BITCHES? I’m so sorry.

END

And that is all for this week’s show. Big thanks to you for listening and you have enjoyed please do chuck me a pound or two, well not chuck as now they have 12 sides you could have someone’s eye out. So please gently pass me a pound or two at patreon.com/parpolbro or ko-fi.com/parpolbro and do drop me a line at @parpolbro on Twitter, parpolbro facebook group or partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com about anything you like, don’t like or are ambivalent about like say, watercress. It’s here and that’s fine but if it wasn’t then would anyone mind? To think people are worried about if an egg has Easter written on it when there’s important shit like watercress to discuss. Really.

Thanks also this week to my brother The Last Skeptik who’s music I use for this podcast and he gave me some swanky new beats for this week’s show. He has an excellent podcast called Thanks For Trying which you should listen to and he has a new single out called DrumRoll Please with Mikill Pane, Scruffizer, Dream McLean and Al The Native. And yes, those are all real people.
Also big thanks to Acast for adopting us into their giant home for podcasts where Partly Political Broadcast will now be living, drinking other people’s milk and forgetting to flush the loo for the foreseeable future.

I’ll be back all up in your well rested post Bank Holiday ears next week. BYE!

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