Episode 10.5 An Easter Mini-Egg

Released on Tuesday, March 29th, 2016.

Episode 10.5 An Easter Mini-Egg

Tiernan is having a week off, so instead here is a very quick headlines, With or Without EU and a bonus treat excerpt from his recent stand-up solo show.

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Transcript

Hello

 

I hope you’ve all had a lovely long Easter weekend and not, like me, attended a pretty disappointing egg hunt. Apparently I didn’t need to bring a rifle, horse or net.  Ha! I joke. This isn’t really a proper episode as I’m having a week off from staring at the news in order to give myself a vague notion that we’re not all doomed, before cracking on with next week’s show all over again. Obviously, tons of stuff has happened in the last seven days that needs a quick word on so very briefly….

 

David Cameron’s Easter message was all about how we have to defend Christian Values from terrorism. The PM’s mentioned upholding Christian values a few times now and it makes me wonder if my theory about Conservatives reading books backwards is a real thing. For example I’m sure George Osborne read Robin Hood the wrong way round so it’s a tale where poor people have to give up all their stuff so rich people can have nice lives. Similarly, I reckon Cameron did the Bible back to front so it’s a tale of tons of people who are very happy until Jesus arrives and ruins their lives. Otherwise there’s no real explanation for Cameron wanting to defend values he clearly doesn’t uphold himself. I’m not sharp on religion but I’m pretty sure there’s no part in the Bible where it said ‘and lo, Jesus stood upon the mound and did tell the people, that healthcare should not be for everyone. And then he met with the bankers and money lenders and said I shall not overturn your tables, no. Instead how much will you donate to my election campaign? And then he turned to the lepers and said all of you are fit for work!’

 

And now a super quick

 

WITH OR WITHOUT EU

 

So far this week the Brexit campaign has been full throttle on it’s strategy of making us realise that if we leave the EU, creative writing will thrive, by providing several stories so full of bullshit that you’d struggle to sell them as manure. Especially not with the EU’s manure nitrogen efficiency policies.  The first of these is that they have a letter backing Brexit and signed by 250 business leaders. Of these, two have already dropped out. These were the carphone warehouse co-founder and the Phones4U co-founder, and I’m pretty sure more will, they just aren’t as good at communication as the other two. So that’s 248 businesses out of the 4.9m businesses registered in the UK. Great stats guys. I assume if one person’s leg out of 1 million people said it was great fun setting fire to yourself you’d think that was a winning argument right?

The second was by the Vote Leave campaign who’ve released a list of serious crimes caused by EU citizens in the UK. I hope they also release a list of serious crimes caused by UK citizens in the UK and eventually persuade everyone to evacuate and leave the entire island to foxes and pigeons.

 

Oh and finally, after the horrific attacks at Brussels airport last week, many pro-Brexit campaigners said that we have increased chances of a terror attack in the UK if we stay in the EU. I can’t see how, or why, but I presume it’s because with the removal of the ‘EU citizens’ queue at British airports terrorists will see how long the wait is and just give up. Otherwise there is absolutely no grounding for that statement.

 

And that’s all I’m going to say on the horrible Brussels attack last week as it’s too soon to comment on things like that or the bombing in Lahore or the Iraq football stadium and it usually takes a bit of time for everyone to work out how they feel about all of it .

 

So here is some material I wrote about the last one

 

Not mixed properly. Not edited properly. Recorded in January will be released soon.

 

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